Black Girl In The City.

For some reason I have it in my head that I need to do a 30 day challenge.  I really want to challenge myself in the areas of discipline and strategy.  My entries have slowed down just   a tad because I’ve kinda sunken into this introspect period where I want to make everything good about me better.  If this is what becoming 30 is all about, I’m not sure if I like it or love it.  It’s so crazy that a lot of my topics go back to me touching on the element of change in our personal lives and in the world as a whole.  I now realize that my recent challenges have been for that purpose so I accept it and try to roll with it a little better.  Can’t say I love it because it is one of the most uncomfortable things any human has to do.  Face life’s truths, reflect on the lessons and apply them to the next phase of life which in my case happens in ehhh 20 days give or take.  Burning is the heat of transition!  Guess who’s about to be on her grown girl shyt?  The countdown is here baby.  J

Growing up is a hard thing to do and I think for some of us this never happens.  We remain stuck in our ways, our thoughts, unwilling to reach or learn more.    I know that can’t be me and my birthday reminds me that it’s time to plan my trip from good to better while fixing the little issues in between.  That shyt’s hard work and who wants more of that?  Yea, so that’s why my birthday depresses me at times.  I just wanna have fun a play Damnit!!

Textin talk — 10:00 am

Her:  What the heck are you doing for your birthday? 

Me:  Eh, I don’t know.  I honestly didn’t have any plans or wanna care too much about it.

Her: Aren’t you turning 30?

Me:  Yep!

Phone rang shortly thereafter.  She called about business and threw in that she saw dresses that made her think of my birthday, thus explaining the mid morning text message.  Whether Pippi was really feeding a shopping habit at 10:00 in the morning, or I was still half asleep thinking that was true, the end result was all the same.  I was reminded of the need to assess, change and embrace the vision for what lies ahead.  I had a lot of work to do.

Our phone call was short; I tossed my phone back onto the empty stack of pillows next to my blackberry.  Yes, I’m one of those addicted individuals.  Part of me was jealous when she spoke of her sexcapade the night before but I knew what I was doing and had to stick with it for me.  The day was rainy and ugly.  Cold.  I just laid there and stared out of my window into the trees.  Tiny pine needles with bushels of water droplets gathered at their roots swayed with my own drifting thoughts.  I almost allowed the weather to get me but changed the game in hopes of leaving my self-defeating habits behind forever…I smiled.  Sat up in my bed and said ok this is hot shyt.  Turned my panic into a plan to facilitate the transition into my grown girl shyt. If I gotta go might as well go on purpose while sporting the hottest pair of Nordstrom pumps I can find.  J  (pssst.  Its copy written!)

Black Girl’s Thirty Day Countdown to Thirty: 

Getting On Your Grown Girl Shyt.

It’s totally nothing big, but I got the idea from Iyanla’s book, ‘One Day My Soul Just Opened Up’.  It’s one of those 40-day principle books where you meditate on a different topic of ‘self’ each day.  I think it’s cool but I needed my own personalized version.  I didn’t do 30 separate exercises because my focus is on transition and change vs. addressing individual issues. Here’s what I’m implementing in days 1 -10.  I’m currently in my 4^th day. 

Days 1 – 10

Think & Pray:  If you haven’t thought about your life’s mission and purpose before now’s the time.  Sure we all wonder what we should be doing with our lives, but most of us aren’t actually sitting down and thinking or praying about it.  Spend time alone and figure this out.  Summarize it into 4 sentences or less and write it down in your journal.  Read it every day until you can memorize it.  These will be your principles to live by and may very well change as different elements of your life do.  So, when things get crazy and you feel as though you are losing sight or direction, you’ll have a roadmap or reminder of what ‘it all boils down to and what you’re really here for’.  Stay connected with your higher power and make time to pray and meditate every single day.  

Clean Out:  Get rid of all of that shyt you have!  Your cross colors outfit from the Cascade family skate and Sparkles days will not make you a millionaire on the antiques road show.  Do yourself a favor and go through all of the things you’ve managed to collect and hold on to unnecessarily over the years and chunk them.  Kick off your season of giving by donating what you no longer need to a good cause.  There are some things that we unconsciously hold onto but no longer need.  When we make a deliberate decision to let them go we allow the energy and feelings associated (past or present) to go as well. 

I have a girlfriend who’s a total pack rat and has problems letting things go. Periodically I’ll go and do a clean sweep of her house when I see her mood is funky or she’s just being a stressed out beyatch.  As soon as I help her toss old mail or get rid of an old dress she never wears, without fail her mood shifts and she’s back to her normal gitty self. If you’re one of those pack rats get a best friend or someone that knows you well enough to help you select what you do and do not need in your space and in your heart.  There are so many good things in the world out here for you, all you have to do is make room for them by letting the old crap go. 

Clean Up:  Take the time to cleanse yourself and treat your body as a temple.  Being human is a part of doing what we want if pleasure’s the ultimate goal. In order to gain that pleasure we often take in or experience things that aren’t good for us.  We’re all gonna do it.  But for this short period of time, wholly dedicate yourself to the cause and test your level of discipline.  Personally I plan to combat negative thoughts and to kiss the penis goodbye (for a hot sec, lol)!!  OMG I’m already buggin on that second point but this is good and I’m focused.  Whatever your main vices may be, try to take at least two away and really commit to not doing or having them during your challenge.  They say that if you can stop a subconscious habit for 30 days straight it will no longer have contol over you.  Get your wonder woman back and  clean up your act!  (I’m definitly tryin’) 

As I sit here in bed feeling good about wrapping up this blurb I’m thinking that tomorrow’s gonna be a busy day.  There’s lots to be done but more importantly, lots to stand on and remain wholly committed to: starting with me.  My 30 day challenge is in FULL EFFECT!  Dope.

-black girl.