Black Girl In The City.

Homegirl: i hate him..  time to cut him off!

Homegirl: All I want to know is how a man with six inches of wee-wee feels compelled to tell me my shortcomings and why I could not be with him.

BLACK GIRL: WHAT!?!?!?!

BLACK GIRL: who got six inches?

Homegirl: security man

BLACK GIRL: wow

BLACK GIRL: the nerve!!

Homegirl: yeah, its mad small for his particular size

BLACK GIRL: Must have a minimum of 10 inches to pop off at the gums, sorry!

BLACK GIRL: Yea he’s a big dude like..6′3 or 4 right?

Homegirl: hello, there in lies the problem with him critiquing me. Little di*** nigga you need to be easy.

BLACK GIRL: LOL

BLACK GIRL: Somewhere along the way someone told him his penussssss game was hot shyt.  He’s feelin good about himself right now.  Don’t bust his bubble!!

Homegirl: I am so not paying his ass attention and he’s been talking for like 5 minutes straight

Homegirl: I just want to hang up the phone but I may need to get into the velvet room one day. LOL

Homegirl: I am about to chop his ass up, its coming in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

BLACK GIRL: NO!  Don’t do it!  We may need to get into the velvet room. LOL

Homegirl: he is still talking and my stomach is bubbling

BLACK GIRL: LMAO

Homegirl : i know

Homegirl: but its so f**** coming

Homegirl: he is still talking

Homegirl: and still talking

Homegirl: and still talking

BLACK GIRL: seriously though, I can always make phone calls if you wanna club.  That aint shyt.   The club scene is wack anyway.

Homegirl:  and still talking

BLACK GIRL: Let little penis man have it and tell him I personally said –à Shhhhh  Little pee pee boy…you speak only when you’re told. 

BLACK GIRL: How you gonna be security with a little night stick!?  man I’m not even supposed to be THINKING about penis right now.    UGHHHH.

Homegirl: hahahaha

BLACK GIRL:  Well what’s his problem? Why is he goin off on u?

Homegirl:  He wants to date me but it won’t work becz I’m stubborn, judgemental, opinionated and I talk about people. 

Homegirl: I told him “Get OVER YOURSELF!!”  what a selfish bastard.  I don’t even like him like that he was just a whatever you wanna call it.

BLACK GIRL:  damn kimosabe 

Homegirl:   Who said I was auditioning to be with you?!  I don’t give a damn about a relationship, you’re somebody else’s man.  And I don’t even like big wee wee’s so you know if I say it’s small it’s smalllllll. 

BLACK GIRL:  lololol wait. He has a chick? 

Homegirl: yes and is steady on the phone bitchin about my character and how it just won’t work.  WTF?  He needs to get a life and stop living in some clouded up world of bullshit.  i was kidding about the velvet room btw

BLACK GIRL:  uh I know!  maybe he’s just mad and wants to cut you down to a size smaller than his whip stick so he can feel better about you not caring to be his second girl lol

Homegirl:  That can never happen coming from a man that has the lingering smell of vanilla extract on his skin every time I see him.  Need I say more?

BLACK GIRL:  OMG I’m laughing out loud.  Vanilla extract?  That’s not a good look pimpin’.

Homegirl:  haha yea  

Lesson of the day:  Check below your belt to make sure your tool and its stroke is on point before throwing rocks of criticism.  Otherwise you’re jumping into a pin of hungry wolves.  Glass houses shatter easily!

Why can’t we all just play nice? 

-black girl.