Black Girl In The City.

photography by ‘Flash’

Here’s something I said to a friend today.  It’s funny how those little aha moments pop up when you least expect, and especially when they manifest as the mirror looking back at you.  It wasn’t until the person on the other end of this conversation  pointed it out that I went back to read my own words.  That’s when I realized how far I’d truly come as a young woman…

“ha, yea, the prolific thing has a tendency to come out every now and then. …as far as pickin em goes; I really go off the vibe. The older I get the more I’m into looks SECOND lol. I don’t give a crap about good looking men honestly, you know – drooling and gasping when they walk by or whatever, but if they approach me and have something substantial between the ears and seem to have good direction then I roll with it. So I guess intellectual connection (which is hard as heck) then looks/attraction and then swagg. J

My issue- I want a man who’s both because attraction & intellect are equally important when it comes to having someone you want to enjoy a good part of your life with. The one’s that have both usually posses some other MAJOR phuked up flaw that I only learn about after I’m too far into the game. I guess the lesson is that stepping out there is a risk, but we keep doing it because the possibility of reward is far greater than any risk that your heart can endure. I just wonder WHY I want it so much. You’d think I’d just be cool doing me and having fun in life. But no matter how successful or accomplished I become, there’s still always something missing. A nagging void that I pray would go away but only gets bigger. Pisses me off…Stupid $hit! Lol”

-black girl.