Filed under: Guest Bloggers, The Fact of the Matter... | Tags: atlanta, nina brown, v-103
I said that once I’d gained enough readership for Black Girl In The City™ I would have other women that fit the mold to guest write for this blog. It would be selfish of me to share this effort alone being that there are so many of us here and in Atlanta doing our thing. Like I said, here we are the majority, not the minority!
Meet Nina Brown. If you haven’t had a chance to read her entire story ladies, you should do so when you get some down time. Nina may laugh when she reads this because I never had the opportunity to tell her that I look up to her and admire all that she does with respect and integrity. All of this time I never knew that she was a writer like myself, but when I found out I didn’t hesistate to ask if she wanted to guest write. I knew it would be great to feature her as our first “Black Girl In The City” guest blooger because she’s making moves and taking names while keeping it fresh and fly. Not to mention the coincidence of her being dubbed, “The black Carey Bradshaw”. Luv it!
Nina’s story goes far and deep. Fast foward to 2006 where she was promoted to the producer of the # 1 Morning Show in Atlanta, V-103. I became familiar with her through my friend Frank, who is one half of the duo that makes the show so great. As producer of the Frank & Wanda Morning Show, she does whatever she has to do to make certain the hosts sound flawless. Often times that entails lots of research, event planning, creative thinking, meeting after meeting, constantly staying on her toes to be bigger and better, non-stop hustling & networking, extremely early mornings, ridiculously late nights and world travel. However, nothing is beneath her! Even though her dresses are always fly, her humble attitude compliments her a heart of gold and fear of God with a magnetic personality that attracts many and spares none.
Today Nina talks about why she’s single. This is only a portion of the full piece because like me, she gets down to it and thoroughly articulates her thoughts to make sure you get it! Thanks Nina for agreeing to do what you do best. I couldn’t have said what you had to say better myself.
-black girl.
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Why I’m Single!
Working in Atlanta’s “Black Hollywood” as a young, single female with morals, I face my own set of challenges. However, I never imagined dating would be so high on the list. I have come to realize, just because the industry glitters, doesn’t mean its hardly golden! While I wouldn’t trade my industry experiences for anything in the world, I will admit, it takes a new-age Nancy Drew to crack the millions of mysteries that come with this package deal.In the beginning, I thought it was me. I constantly made excuses why my dating life was on a path of self-destruction. Had I become a bad man-magnet? I considered everything from where I lived (outside the city) to the extra 10lbs I gained, but once I moved downtown and lost 25lbs, things still didn’t change!I then asked myself, was it really me?
- I’m single because I will never allow a man to make me feel like I’m anything less than fabulous. I have an amazing Daddy who raised me well; because of him, I know what a stand up dude is.
- I’m single because I work in a male dominated industry and most men can’t handle the fact I’m around other powerful, popular and well-connected men 24/7.
- I’m single because I have more backbone than a lot of men and I don’t always want to be the “driver”. I expect my man to lead, and quite honestly, the majority of men these days have no idea where they’re going…
- I’m single because I can carry my own weight. Most men have egos that need to be stroked, so they seek needy women to make them feel empowered, looking down upon independent women.
- I’m single because my male mentors expose me to things most men can’t, like fine dining and traveling to new places some only experience thru the Discovery Channel.
- I’m single because I have a zero tolerance for ignorance. Zero! I’m single because I run at the first sight of a “red flag”. I will not tolerate being lied to.
- I’m single because I will not sweat or stalk you, regardless of how gorgeous or successful you might be…
- I’m single because I choose to keep a good reputation, I will not sleep with you because you drive a flashy car, rock $500 designer jeans or have an icy watch and chain to match. Often times, that’s all you’ve got… these 4 things.
- I’m single because I’m attracted to the hip hop culture and often times shy away from everything else.
- I’m single because sometimes I’d rather sleep than be on the social scene.
- I’m single because I was taught the difference between personality and character and I need a man with character.
- I’m single because I’d sometimes rather hang out with my fabulous girlfriend’s then play the “get to know you” game with some new dude.
- I’m single because I don’t want to inherit your baby mama drama.
- I’m single because I was taught life is much like a theater and I’m the superstar on stage!
- I’m single because I refuse to play the sideline chick.
- I’m single because I think male groupies are the lowest form of man.
- I’m single because I understand, what God has for me, is for me.
- I’m single because I realize some men want to be affiliated with my connections and reap the benefits of the many blessings I’ve received.
- I’m single because the most important men in my life told me, I deserve the best, and now, it’s the ONLY thing I’ll settle for.
- And again, I’m single because I have an extreme phobia for the down low. I need a man who digs women only.
- But most importantly, I’m single because I CHOOSE TO BE.
-Nina.
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Although you may not always be able to hear Nina every morning on the radio, trust that she’s the magic behind the greatness and has no need to be the center of attention or be on the front lines. That in itself is how a “Black Girl in the City” should be. The power behind the machine is far greater than the machine itself.
-black girl.
Filed under: Reflections of a Black Girl, The Fact of the Matter... | Tags: basics, time
Every now and then we get caught up in the superfluous layers of ‘stuff’ that seem to pile up our world ultimately consuming life and the enjoyment it can provide. If you are not careful it’ll snatch you off your game, toss you on the floor and spit in your face with a smile.
I was thinking today, I got some peeling to do. One of the reasons I think I feel so bogged at times is because I’ve deviated from my basic principals and goals. Impulsive motifs and the need to fulfill personal pleasures and wants have played a part too. But I think the main thing is my annoying habit of fully absorbing the things I come in contact with, which can be dangerous. I take on things I shouldn’t, or say yes to things I don’t want to…and perhaps even do a little low balling of self for whatever reason.
I burned my finger making dinner tonight. It pissed me off so bad that it created a spiral of funky foul in my house. I was bitching about nothing and everything for no reason! Lol That one little incident took me in a totally different direction that I wanted to go. That said, I gotta remain aware of those small things that disguise themselves as nuances, but in actuality serve the sole purpose of phukin up yer $hit!! We typically keep our eyes peeled for the big things that occur, the obvious and flamboyantly presentable while the real culprits slip by and latch on like leaches sucking every sense of direction you had. They make you forget.
Jokes on me!!! Haha black girl. I almost freaking forgot what the hell I’m doing and why I’m doing it and what it means to me by doing it. I don’t know where this philosophical thought came from, I just know that its time to get back to basics and back on my shyt. Not saying I’ve fallen off totally, just saying that I can see the great disaster in the horizon. I know well enough to head off at the pass and double dutch in the opposite direction throwing the deuces. Paaayyyyce.
In order to be the complete 360 me, I’m gonna have to get back to basics and remind myself of what the hell I’m supposed to be doing with myself. Gonna have to peel back some burdens, forget about the water under the bridge and just cross that shyt.
I. Will. Not. Fall. Off.
-black girl.
{rinze van brug}
Random updates…
I woke up late again this morning. 7am to be precise. I have 3 alarms that go off but I’ve been sleeping through each and every one! A few hours of sleep each night has its drawbacks. I have an admirer that calls me at 6:30am every single morning. I don’t answer even though I’m normally up by then. Funny, this guy is a real good dude; we met when I had a flat tire at 2am. Pulled alongside and helped a sister out. The next day he was at my house taking the tire off. Took it and got it fixed, brought it back and rotated all of my tires by hand. I was impressed. Not really used to men doing anything for me. Not sure if it’s my stubborn independence to ask or accept, or the fact that I am so focused on being the giver that I don’t stop to think about the reciprocal factor. At any rate, this guy has a 21 yo daughter and three other children. Going through a divorce and I think he’s already looking for a wife. I wonder if I should tell him that it aint me. Seems like, with all of that he’d want a settled life at 37 pushing 38. But my life is just beginning. I need someone that’s working towards something besides winning the little league championship and slurping Heinekin’s on ball game Sunday, moving and shaking right along with me. I may do cheerleading and jazz practices because I have to, but I’m no soccer mom.
I feel kinda wierded out when he starts talking about how we are on the same team and he says, “Hey I’m here, whatever you need.” He talks about how he wants to take me places and do things, etc. I’m thinking, “I hate it when dudes talk shyt about what they are gonna do. Just do it because as soon as you start talking all of that it automatically registers as game!” “Where you wanna go baby? Mexico? Tahiti? Tell me and we’re there.” Ugh. Yea, I’m thinking, but that means you’re gonna wanna get some goodies and I’m so not there with you dude. LOL. I know he would be good for me in terms of what I need but I’m not attracted at all. Some of my homies have piped, “Girl, you need to keep him around and get over that other stuff. You need someone like him in your life.” I’m sorry, I just can’t keep someone around for the sake of security and help. I’d feel like I’m just using them if I can’t offer the affection and care that’s required in those situations. Sometimes I think I’m too good for my own good, lol. Despite my warnings of being too busy to cultivate a relationship and my effortless ability to be a hard cookie to crack, he still says,” I’m here.” I don’t know why I panic but I guess I don’t want to be smothered or held accountable to anyone or anything but my current obligations. I don’t like to hurt anyone’s feelings but I’m sure he would appreciate me telling him that I’m not really interested and if he wants to be cool then…ok. But honestly, I don’t think he can handle just that. Mentioning my disinterest in that regard would be the best. Guess I’ll tell him the next time we speak instead of ignoring his calls. I’m disappointed at myself for doing the thing I’ve despised in people that do the same to me.
I’ve been pulling late nights to keep up with my personal priorities in terms of business and making this thing happen. Drowning myself in merlot and sometimes smokes to make the grind less tiring lol. I think I’m going to hire a summer intern to help out during the busy summer months because things are only gonna get busier, and I’m only gonna get a little bit buggier, you know eyes popped out of my head like, “Why the phuk wasn’t this done yesterday!?” lol.
When I got in and sat down I realized my feet were ashy as hell! Like I’d been kicking flour all the way into the office. Seems I lotioned everything on my body after a 5 minute shower but my feet, lol. Day kicked off with meetings and a stack of things to do a mile high. None of which I feel like doing but I gotta snap out of it and understand how blessed I am to be in the position I am. Where I am valued and my decisions are trusted. Running my desk here is very similar to running my own business so I appreciate that level of independence that is given to me. A rarity in this game since so much is at stake on the daily. I’m rockin it though!
Lunch plans. Kimora called for me to do lunch with her and Nik today at Fuego. I was supposed to have a lunch date but I gotta keep my friends first in line. He and I can do Sushi tomorrow. When I walked into the office today, I strolled past the kitchen only to see my boss hovered over the brewing coffee like a drone, praying for the last drop to percolate so she can get her fix. Laughed to myself. She was straight jockin the pot!
I’m looking at my mile high list of upcoming initiatives and current projects on my calendar for today. I still don’t understand how I do it all and still keep a clean kitchen and ample supply of clean panties in the drawer! Trust me I’ve run out before and have no problem pushin a commando on em. Lol
Been stocking up on dresses for the summer. I go to a lot of private events during the hot months and a dress is always the best option. Especially since i go stir crazy when trying to pick out outfits at the last minute. A dress makes it so much easier. I learned the hard way last year that a busy woman should always keep a dress on deck for every occassion. Buisiness, personal, Saturday sexy, first date fly…my ladies know! the only question would be, “Panties or no panties?” Ha ha, yea.
Tomorrow is registration for school. I’ve decided not to do it just yet. I’m barely keeping up with my life as is and I know the additional stressor will only lead to more late nights and red bull by the case. Just being real. As bad as I want to go, I knew that choosing life would have its sacrifices and setbacks for me personally, but I will make it. Sometimes I have a tendency to push myself so hard that I don’t realize how much or how hard I am going until I crash. It’s frustrating at times because there’s so much I want and need to do, but my first obligation is my family. I don’t have help; it’s just us so I have to make sure I give them what they need as well. Time, love, healthy meals and direction for their future. When I went in front of the admissions panel a month or so back they asked me, “So, what is your plan for managing school with your other obligations?” I skipped across my words but managed to reply, “Honestly, I just do it and will strategize and plan according to my priorities, one of the first being finishing my degree.” Same sentence in my readmissions essay, lol. I wonder if the ever noticed. Guess it doesn’t matter since I got the acceptance letter anyway. I gotta be real with this and understand that there may be things I want to do and may have the drive to do, but I gotta be realistic as well and realize that I’ll have to either wait until help comes along or my girls get a little older. Who knows, I may have things a little bit more under control by the fall and be able to get in then. I only have 48 hours left in the accelerated degree program for business professionals. I ultimately want to bring my GPA to a 3.5 so I can transfer to Georgia State. Just don’t know when that will happen.
We have a company picnic on Thursday. $5 bucks to the first person that can tell me where the word PICNIC came from! I’m looking forward to being in the sun and out of the office. Laughing at a bunch of tipsy co-workers talking shyt will most def be priceless.
Got a lot going on but I’m bangin it out! Besides, so long as my dresses are fly I think I’ll be hella straight.
-black girl.
