Filed under: The Art of Storytellin'
After what turned out to be a day from Hades, I was looking forward to hitting the crib, soaking my limbs and sliding into my silkiest panties and softest robe. I was in dire need of gracing the remainder of my day away. I ditched the office at 5:00 hoping to bypass the Lenox Rd. traffic but no such luck. I took advantage of the time to make client calls and homie hollas. Yea, I know I shouldn’t shoot and swerve but hey, gotta make the most of the time you got! Guess I shouldn’t openly admit that I send entire emails with both hands while driving with me knee, huh. Gotta stop that…
I ended up talking to Elaina the entire time, listening to the never ending saga with the on-again off again dog she called her ‘man’. He wasn’t just a dog, he was the nasty kind – slinging his penis everywhere from Brazil to McDonald’s. I can’t stand him personally but still try not to be one of those hatin’ ass single friends forever poppin shit with a cold bed of my own. But damn…stupid – is – stupid. We’ll address Elaina’s addiction to ‘industry’ cats later, as that is another SEVERE ailment of my kind in this city. Nevertheless, I put my girlfriend time in and listened to her cry, offered some friendly objective advice and said my goodbyes.
By that time I had made it to home base and was oh so happy to be there. As I prepared dinner, Stouffers’ a la microwave, I sauntered around my haven picking up loose ends from a morning turned awry. Woke up late, had to rush, and didn’t lay out my stuff the night before. My mind always changes between the time I pick my outfit to the time I wake up to start my day so I just gangster my shit. Whatever I feel like when I get to that point ya’ meen? Got a text from Ty, one of my bestest guy friends and funny as shit, asking me where he could find free Wi Fi. Me being the queen of finding anything for a bargain and everything free I immediately typed P-A-N-E-R-A B-R-E-A-D on Peachtree. That message was followed by the funny, weird and psychotic two liners we shoot back and forth – that anyone reading in passing would clearly see us as sick idiots. Lol. Perhaps that’s true but who cares.
Dinner was done, bath had been run and the world outside had said goodbye to the sun. That’s when it happened. POWER. OUT. The abrupt halt to the energy source in my crib was followed my own wails, “Are You SERIOUS?!! I just paid my %$@#^& bill!”
Very aware of my ability to go from zero to raging bitch in 5 seconds, I re-focused my energy and grabbed my phone to dial Georgia Power. 1 hour and 30 minutes before I’d have power again. I spewed more atrocities and words that my momma would smack me for while fumbling around the dark for panties and a t-shirt. Went ahead and copped some sweats and socks too…it was getting cold for real. I sat on the couch pondering whether or not to wait this out or just go somewhere to chill out until power was restored. Like Starbucks…that’s a bet. As observed the ATL skyline from my point of view I thought, “Man something’s different.” They call it silence. Almost eerie silence…crazy. “I’m getting the hell outta here,” I said racing for my sneakers.
But before I could get the other shoe on my phone rang and supposedly my power was back. I said, “No, I’m still standing in the dark,” dangling my other sneaker from my index finger.
“Yea you gotta go reset your box,” he explained.
“There should be a box somewhere outside of your home. Gotta go flip it on, that’s not our job,” he said with country swang. Obviously an Anglo Saxon who’s descendents probably owned some of my own at some point. His town wasn’t right.
“Dude, I live in a condo,” I frowned. Poked my lips out in disgust.
“You gotta maintnence man?” I laughed to myself and wanted to say well yea kinda, but HE’s not doing his f**** job, but opted for, “No these are privately owned.”
“Well you should know where your fuse box is ma’m. This was just a courtesy call.” CLICK! That sucker hung up on me!
I’d just closed on this place in November! I’d barely figured out how to arrange my shoe collection let alone find a sttuuuupidd fuse box, lol. Rather than allow the angry sharks to swim, I decided to focus on the problem at hand, which was figuring out how the hell to get my lights on and warm my loins. I tossed on my robe and headed off on my quest to find the holy grail of power…in the freezing dark…with no flash light…and definitely NO clue. Did I mention that my building is maybe a half a mile long with four floors of units and mine faces the back woods!? Uh yea…this was gonna be some shit. To Be Continued… black girl.
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