Filed under: Altered Beastin' It
I think I left off on Saturday with this blog I’ve grown to hate and love. Its funny going back to read things you’ve written, watching yourself staring right back at you. A beautiful dichotomy that so happens to write….
So my Sunday was pretty cool. For some reason I just couldn’t get up and at em. I think my body was on crash mode, I was forced to ride it out. I was finally up around 11:30 feeling honored that God chose me to live that day. The weather was on point. T-Shirt…flip flops and jeans. A black girl’s Sunday staple. Most of the day was spent riding around with my family just doing girl stuff. We eventually ended up back around the way and decided to hit a movie. We chose “Horton Hears A Who” at Phipps Plaza. While it really wasn’t on my radar to see I must say that it was pretty good. So much so that I think I’m gonna go back and read all of Dr. Seuss’ books. He’s a pretty deep dude! Lol. Anyway, we get there early enough for me to go get everybody seated and then come back for snacks and expensive shit.
The lines weren’t too long but there were a few people around. I chill. I order. I pay and I proceed to go put butter on my popcorn. I’d heard a commotion in my left ear but it was a quiet one, like something that was none of my concern so I ignored…until I realized it was right in my path. Looked at my watch noting the 2 remaining minutes to movie start. The commotion? Some middle-aged white woman. Very polished and refined. She wore a crisp, long sleeve polo button down shirt. She’d draped a fuschia cashmere shawl over it. Her ears dripped with silk lustered gold laced with tiny diamonds. My mouth watered with thier sparkle. Her almost alien looking oval face was flustered as the manager was trying to explain to her why they couldn’t give her $10 in quarters. But forget all that. My main concern: her Marc Jacobs bag was right under the butter…that I needed….so I could get on my way to the Dr. Seuss experience (on time).
I smiled and politely said, “Excuse me.” She shifted her eyes toward me and never stopped blabbing to the manager about whatever she was sayin. I paused before politely but a little more aggressively saying, “Ma’m, excuse me.” A command that this time could not be ignored. When she looked at me I motioned for her to move your purse so I can get my phukin butter please? Dag!
This woman puts her stop sign hand in full effect saying, “You need to wait just a minute.” Straight gangster! By this time super bitch had been mounting up her pink super suit in the back of my mind ready to pop off on que. The lady yelled so loud that people in the lobby skipped a millisecond before continuing about their biz. So if you can see it, here’s me…some white lady’s hand in close proximity of my face…standing in the midst of her echo telling me to who? As my boy B would say, shhhhhhiiiiiiittttttttttt. When that skinny little rich witch moved her hand I man gripped that (I need to go find me one in that color) stupid ass bag and slammed it to the other side of the dispenser (and) THEN proceeded to get my phukin butter. 🙂 She had one of those “I know this little black bitch did NOT just grab my bag and move it let alone look at me.” Looks on her face. She turned her attention away from the manager and faced me to say, “Why do you all have such an AT-TI-TUDE problem?” Every T flicked a single spray of spit into the air. Nasty.
I was so shocked I laughed out loud with my jaw dropped heavy. Still smirking my cheeks I said, “I think I said excuse me twice and what do you mean by you-all?” I could feel the majority black theater staff rallying up in spirit as if silently shouting, “Yea, why?” as they whiped off counters and tilled change around me.
This woman gave me the most intense disgusted look I’d ever seen from someone I didn’t know in my entire life. She needed to say nothing more. Her smirkined statement boiled behind my ears and exploded as a baratone guttered, “BITCH!!!!” The lobby stopped again, but this time for two or three milliseconds. My roar was short but viscious.
When the milliseconds passed I had since gotten my butter and at the point allowed the peek to simmer away quicker than it had come. Pranced my little at-ti-tude having hiney away to enjoy the movie with butter on my popcorn. I was pissed for a hot minute before shaking angry fairy off and returning to the normal me. Had to remind myself of the true origin of ignorance. Unbelievable.
‘she was just mad because my toes were prettier than hers and Helen didn’t work on her feet , lol’
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