Black Girl In The City.

Relax, B.
March 23, 2008, 7:21 am
Filed under: Dirty Talk


Sometimes I hate that I grapple with the temptation of over thinking $hit so much.  Some days you just don’t want to be all that deep.  Shallow girl in shallow world was a much more appealing role on this particular adventure….

Last weekend we celebrated panama’s birthday for the second week in a row.  When I think about it, I really do have a select group of pretentious beyotches for friends.  A plus I suppose depending on your perception.  Panama’s crush pie had the most adorable black and pink invitations hand made for her.  First celebration consisted of dinner at the Geisha House before heading over to the velvet room.  I was so tired the next day.  Second part took place at Platinum 21.  Relax doe…tis not what it looks like!  Panama’s still a baby, just turning 23.  She waits tables there to put herself through school.  She’ll be graduating this year. Go p! 

If you live in Atlanta and you party even half of the time you’ve been to a strip club.  In fact, women go just as much as men do.  It can be hard to tell what women are there for what.  You have your lesbians who have no problem disclosing their preference solely through their vibe.  Then there’s the undercover lady hump lovers.  There are also the chicks that go with their significant other because they understand the true essence of the game.  You got the night crawlers that usually travel in two or more cuz they plan on tag teaming a baller later that night for the right amount. *smh* Then you got…me! Lol.  I’m pretty much comfortable in any environment because where I am doesn’t dictate who I am.  I have no problem with ‘strip club’ holding a place on the list of things I do for fun.  As weird as it sounds, this is where I could get in my shallow moments and just a have a good time in a shallow world.    

Burning question of the week, “Black girl are you a vajayjay lover?”  That answer would be no.  BUT!  I’ll say that I’m familiar with all types of lifestyles and understand their correlation amongst each other.  You’re only as good as your reach and must be able to tap into any resource out there if the plan calls for it.  Because of this I’m very comfortable and may in fact ‘confuse you’ if you don’t know the complex me for what it is.  My problem is, “Why the phuck do dudes wanna turkey gobble when they see you having a good time in the strip club with your homegirls?”  That’s whack amd I need for them to cease immediately.  You should be spending money with the women that put the work in for ya’ll every night even when they don’t feel like it.  I did not put on a break away thong and jump in a pool of Victoria’s Secret body spray for you to plant spit droplets in my ear because the music’s so loud.   Got the wrong gal!

I feel asleep earlier that evening waiting for the hour to get lost and meet up with the girls.  I didn’t show up until 1:45 and felt kinda bad but they weren’t trippin.  Panama was already beautifully lifted and enjoying life for the night when I got there.  As always her outfit was on point.  I donned sneakers, a white tank, jeans and a jacket. You know how that goes.  It was almost 2:00 in the morning and heels were not on my menu for the night and besides, it’s a strip club.  Earlier that evening I had put an offer for PB (the one I met a few weeks ago) to come and hang with the crew.  It would be our first time seeing each other since meeting initially.  He brought two of his homies and they were tasty cakes in a two pack. One chocolate and one vanilla.  They’d beat me there and were sitting along side the upper level of the spot.  PB was talking to a young lady who looked as if she had big black wings for eyelashes.  He shooed her with his nods when he saw me coming his way and she flapped past me empty handed.  I slid into the chair next to him. 

“Hey dude.  How long you been here?”

“About 30 min or so.  You smell good,” he said.“Thanks.  You look nice.  Come let’s find my girls,” I said trying to avoid anything suggestive.  We were just cool peeps and that’s the best way to truly get to know someone.  Without the other stuff involved.  We found the crew in the back corner doing how we do.  Panama’s crush pie tossed one’s into the air so high ‘the dancers needed a flight ta go n git it’. Lol.   I’m too much of a frugal fran to make it rain.  The one time I was supposed to I tried to flick from the stack and threw the whole thing at the back wall of the stage subsequently enduring a roaring boooooooo from my crew.  I’m just glad I didn’t accidentally hit the naked phat booty girl that I was at least tryna show love to.I didn’t know PB that well and was honestly testing him by bringing him to that element.  The mofo failed harder than a 12 year old tryna get to the 3rd grade.  I sat down with my girls and he and his guys joined the party sitting across from us.  I was peeping his demeanor in hopes of seeing a thought or two.   There was a girl doing her thizzle in front of the girls and I, and of course it’s the performer’s job to make what’s already looking good even better thus getting extra sexy in order to prolong the bill.  I looked across and saw PB talking to his homie with one eye on my antics.   

Short times were still good ones and I was outta there in an hour. Kissed the kittens goodbye.  PB walked me to my car.  Leaned in to hug goodnight but his grip turned tight boxing me in.   Held my hips in place and I was forced to look up at him.  Prayed he didn’t try to kiss me.  Time wasn’t right and I so wasn’t feelin it.  My mind was on other things, other persons.  His shirt smelled like chanel no. 5 and hot vajayjay.  Sparked an image in my mind of some chick doing the “lemme grab your shirt with the crackomyass’ trick on him.  Don’t get me wrong, PB is no average cat.  Meets every last one of my criteria in terms of being a mate and then some. He’s a damn good catch and I was seriously out of my mind for giving him the cold arm but you never can tell with me.  My ability to feel a vibe without external influences is something I value.  I would soon find out why he wouldn’t be the guy for me.    

“You like women huh?”

“Are you suggesting or asking?” I balked.

“Ha.  Asking.”  He loosened his grip a lil bit.

 “I’m not on the other side if that’s what you’re asking me.” 

“You straddle between here and there?”  He had an amused/intrigued look going on.  Like the conversation was his fresh new box of favorite cookies, his thick eyebrows danced like it was Christmas day.  

I paused for a few seconds so my remark would be more profound…


 He picked up on my vibe and quickly added, “I mean, you were enjoying the ladies and having just as much fun as I was in there.  I thought there was something I should know.”  His words clamored against each other nervously taking a moment for me to digest. 

I decided to play with him a bit and ask, “If it’s something you should know I would tell you right?”  He nodded yes and I slithered, “Good,” wriggling my way out of his clutch and jingling my keys. 

“Oh wait, so you’re gay?”  He stood there with his long arms open as if I’d played him to the left. 

I laughed and said, “I never said I was you assumed it because I was having a good time homie!”

“That doesn’t make sense.  You acted like you like women any man would think that.  There’s no need to be undercover.” 

Ninja what?!…. I tilted my head and shrugged my shoulders and eased into the driver’s side of my car.  Muttered, “So. What,” thinking how fun it was to be at this point in my life. The old me would have cared about his opinions and thoughts.  The new me can be on that shallow shyt for the sake of balance sometimes.  I was one deuce deuce away from heading home to fresh sheets.    Paayceee.   If he was smart he’d let this conversation ride for another, more appropriate time and place.

“Oh damn baby it’s like that?”  I couldn’t believe he was pressing such a stupid thing. TOTAL turn off. Ilk.  He was beginning to sound like the mad rapper in leapord speedo draws.  Straight gay and LAME!  My stomach started to hurt.

“Nah we good.  I’m just tired.” Smiled sweetly and squinted my eyes to illustrate fatigue.  Sucked his teeth in response to my sideswipe with a watery mouth and glossed eyes.  I didn’t give him anything.  I laughed to myself at the thought of how crazy this would drive him.  The longer I held on to the key he’d just carved, the more I’d become his object of desire without him even knowing.   Was it worth it though?  I only spent time exercising the seductive process on men I actually wanted.  This fool had thrown himself in the lost and never found category already.

Tapped the steering wheel with my thumbs and whispered, “Night.  Call me tomorrow ok?”  Put the car in reverse and bounced.   We both knew who wouldn’t be answering who’s calls.

The shallow girl in me wanted to say, “I don’t give a rats ass what you think about what I like to have sex with,”  but isimmered on the instead thinking of how good it felt to swim in the shallow end for a change.

 -black girl.


2 Comments so far
Leave a comment

i love it!it was amaizing and i was wondered about this relax b!!!

Comment by James Bond

You are simply the bomb! So muthafuckin true…

Comment by Tee

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