Black Girl In The City.

A reader responds…
April 1, 2008, 10:01 pm
Filed under: Reflections of a Black Girl, The Fact of the Matter...


I think this would be an opportune time to extend a wonderful thank you to all of my readers!  I started this blog on a whim about a month ago mainly because I needed a way to express myself while keeping the writing skills sharp.  Really just my selfish way of appeasing yours truly, so I didn’t care who read it or how many hits I got.  You can only imagine how I stoked I was to see that my very own little corner of the world attracted what now sits at 350 (tee hee) or so friends per day while continuing to grow!  I’m not sure how that translates in blog world or if that’s even significant, but for someone like me that writes for all the ‘write’ reasons, knowing that people dig my work and keep coming back to it is the hottest shyt ever!  Special special kisses to Ave. Ray, Concrete Loop, High Snobiety, NICHE Magazine and everyone else that’s taken the time to link me up, write about me or reach out to let me know how much they love my sexy.  🙂  Check my links——>   

Now on with business….    

A few weeks back I wrote about black men on the down low in Atlanta and basically expressed the amount of anger and disappointment I felt about what has become a huge problem in the black community.  One of my readers wrote the following in response:

First off, great post.

 I will be short and say that – if the black community as a whole did not have such seething hatred, contempt, and loathing for those gay black men who did have the courage to come out and not live in “secrecy” then this problem would not be at the level that it is today. There are endless stories of black men disowned, ostracized, vilified, assaulted, shunned, and murdered for being honest about who they are.

The perils and challenges of the black man in this country are well-documented. Add to that the harsh stigma of being a GAY black man and unfortunately it is not that difficult to understand why so many gay black brothers choose to live in the shadows. This shaming and stifling way of life can only lead to dysfunction, self-loathing and destructiveness.


K’s response reminded me for the one millionth time today that if we want to change the state of our community, we need to change our attitudes towards and as black men.  I hate to sit and spin on the black man black man thing but I really do feel like there’s an internal alarm screaming inside of me everyday as it relates to my people.   I understand the importance and significance of the black man because everything in my life is impacted by them in one way or another.   Any woman that says she doesn’t need a (black) man in her life is a liar.  Any black man that says or feels like what he does on the daily does not impact us by the millions is misguided. 


If we want to get it right we have to start with the source and accept responsibility.  Yes, there are some out there doing their part and doing a heck of a good job picking up the slack, but that’s truly not enuf to address the crisis we face.  To get an entire nation of people to move in one direction (especially black folk) is virtually  impossible unless there’s money or something of monetary value involved.  But, at least I can use my little sound box to say what I have to say and keep it moving.  Thanks to the rest of you that say what you have to say and please keep your thoughts coming.  They say change begins with a spark so stop playin’ and light that shyt up!

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.  

 -black girl


1 Comment so far
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Hey Black Girl,
I commend U 4 commenting on the whole gay black man on the DL epidemic so honestly. U R saying what so many black women R thinkin’. This issue is close 2 my heart because a dear friend of mine was murdered as a result of his sexual orientation. I agree with that reader’s response. Something definitely has to B done. And if we as a black community have 2 change our thinking then so be it.
NEWS FLASH “This just in. There is a huge black gay community!” We all know this! Stop making it Taboo! Just let’s stop! We R allowing this 2 spiral into something that is destroying the black community! Heterosexual black men and women need to face this fact and accept it whether they want 2 or not n order 2 start having some serious dialogue about what we’re gonna do to save our community from genocide. It seems like such a minor adjustment 2 me N the scope of things.
So we need 2 love one another no matter how they get down N the bedroom because we have way bigger battles to fight. We R only hurting ourselves by judging one another. Our energies R being misdirected and could B focused on way more important issues. Issues that we have the power 2 control. Wake up people! How U feel about how a person gets down will not stop them from gettin’ down, only make them more creative on how 2 do it! Wouldn’t U wanna know from the jump? I sure would, save me a whole lotta time and energy.
By the way, I love UR column. I just started reading last week and U know I had 2 put my people on. Keep doing U super star!


Comment by bLONDE aMAZON

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