Black Girl In The City.


nina brown talks about why she’s single.
May 7, 2008, 11:47 pm
Filed under: Guest Bloggers, The Fact of the Matter... | Tags: , ,

I said that once I’d gained enough readership for Black Girl In The City™ I would have other women that fit the mold to guest write for this blog. It would be selfish of me to share this effort alone being that there are so many of us here and in Atlanta doing our thing. Like I said, here we are the majority, not the minority!

Meet Nina Brown. If you haven’t had a chance to read her entire story ladies, you should do so when you get some down time. Nina may laugh when she reads this because I never had the opportunity to tell her that I look up to her and admire all that she does with respect and integrity. All of this time I never knew that she was a writer like myself, but when I found out I didn’t hesistate to ask if she wanted to guest write. I knew it would be great to feature her as our first “Black Girl In The City” guest blooger because she’s making moves and taking names while keeping it fresh and fly. Not to mention the coincidence of her being dubbed, “The black Carey Bradshaw”. Luv it!

Nina’s story goes far and deep. Fast foward to 2006 where she was promoted to the producer of the # 1 Morning Show in Atlanta, V-103. I became familiar with her through my friend Frank, who is one half of the duo that makes the show so great. As producer of the Frank & Wanda Morning Show, she does whatever she has to do to make certain the hosts sound flawless. Often times that entails lots of research, event planning, creative thinking, meeting after meeting, constantly staying on her toes to be bigger and better, non-stop hustling & networking, extremely early mornings, ridiculously late nights and world travel. However, nothing is beneath her! Even though her dresses are always fly, her humble attitude compliments her a heart of gold and fear of God with a magnetic personality that attracts many and spares none.

Today Nina talks about why she’s single. This is only a portion of the full piece because like me, she gets down to it and thoroughly articulates her thoughts to make sure you get it! Thanks Nina for agreeing to do what you do best. I couldn’t have said what you had to say better myself.

-black girl.

—-

Why I’m Single!

If I had a dollar for every time I was asked, “Why don’t you have a man?” I could easily put everyone’s kid through college.
Working in Atlanta’s “Black Hollywood” as a young, single female with morals, I face my own set of challenges. However, I never imagined dating would be so high on the list. I have come to realize, just because the industry glitters, doesn’t mean its hardly golden! While I wouldn’t trade my industry experiences for anything in the world, I will admit, it takes a new-age Nancy Drew to crack the millions of mysteries that come with this package deal.
When my dating scene went from bad to worst, I began to ask myself, Why am I single??? As I experienced dating deal breaker after dating deal breaker (DDB), I began to keep record of them in my blackberry to see if I could get to the bottom of my own rhetorical questions.

In the beginning, I thought it was me. I constantly made excuses why my dating life was on a path of self-destruction. Had I become a bad man-magnet? I considered everything from where I lived (outside the city) to the extra 10lbs I gained, but once I moved downtown and lost 25lbs, things still didn’t change!I then asked myself, was it really me?

Now, I’m far from perfect, but I know who I am, and more importantly, I know what I want. I have standards that I’m not willing to lower or compromise. While I realize, I won’t be every man’s “perfect 10”, I stand tall by my personal beliefs and I refuse to cut corners and settle for wack plea bargains. Life’s way too short to be complacent with convenience or settle for mediocrity.

I have stopped asking myself, “Why am I single?” because the answers I was looking for were before me, and as clear as a cloudless day.

  • I’m single because I will never allow a man to make me feel like I’m anything less than fabulous. I have an amazing Daddy who raised me well; because of him, I know what a stand up dude is.

  • I’m single because I work in a male dominated industry and most men can’t handle the fact I’m around other powerful, popular and well-connected men 24/7.

  • I’m single because I have more backbone than a lot of men and I don’t always want to be the “driver”. I expect my man to lead, and quite honestly, the majority of men these days have no idea where they’re going…

  • I’m single because I can carry my own weight. Most men have egos that need to be stroked, so they seek needy women to make them feel empowered, looking down upon independent women.

  • I’m single because my male mentors expose me to things most men can’t, like fine dining and traveling to new places some only experience thru the Discovery Channel.

  • I’m single because I have a zero tolerance for ignorance. Zero! I’m single because I run at the first sight of a “red flag”. I will not tolerate being lied to.

  • I’m single because I will not sweat or stalk you, regardless of how gorgeous or successful you might be…

  • I’m single because I choose to keep a good reputation, I will not sleep with you because you drive a flashy car, rock $500 designer jeans or have an icy watch and chain to match. Often times, that’s all you’ve got… these 4 things.

  • I’m single because I’m attracted to the hip hop culture and often times shy away from everything else.

  • I’m single because sometimes I’d rather sleep than be on the social scene.

  • I’m single because I was taught the difference between personality and character and I need a man with character.

  • I’m single because I’d sometimes rather hang out with my fabulous girlfriend’s then play the “get to know you” game with some new dude.

  • I’m single because I don’t want to inherit your baby mama drama.

  • I’m single because I was taught life is much like a theater and I’m the superstar on stage!

  • I’m single because I refuse to play the sideline chick.

  • I’m single because I think male groupies are the lowest form of man.

  • I’m single because I understand, what God has for me, is for me.

  • I’m single because I realize some men want to be affiliated with my connections and reap the benefits of the many blessings I’ve received.

  • I’m single because the most important men in my life told me, I deserve the best, and now, it’s the ONLY thing I’ll settle for.

  • And again, I’m single because I have an extreme phobia for the down low. I need a man who digs women only.

  • But most importantly, I’m single because I CHOOSE TO BE.

-Nina.

Although you may not always be able to hear Nina every morning on the radio, trust that she’s the magic behind the greatness and has no need to be the center of attention or be on the front lines. That in itself is how a “Black Girl in the City” should be. The power behind the machine is far greater than the machine itself.

Explore More of Nina’s Work.

-black girl.

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19 Comments so far
Leave a comment

I love this. I’m about to link to it on my blog. Although some of those reasons can’t apply to all of us women, alot of them definitely do and I can relate!!! A good SINGLE friend of mine sent me this. I realize that myself and alot of my beautiful, talented girlfriends are all single because we REFUSE TO SETTLE!!!! Thanks Nina!!!!

Comment by StyleRazzi

I admire her and you Black Girl. This post was much needed. She just answered every question I had as to why I was single. I sorta knew but she just made me feel a whole lot better and secure with me and all my
single-ness. LOL :)!!!
Thank you for embracing single women, especially in ATLANTA(Lord knows we need it)!!!

Comment by Kisa tha Diva

Love this blog . I listen to you guys every morning.
Hold on Nina, you will see it is worth waiting for the right guy.
I have been married 13 years, so it can happen girl!!!

The Southern Mrs.

Comment by Southern Mrs.

Great blog! Much Success to Nina.

Comment by L's

Wow I dont even know her and I love her!
Her reasons of being single is a must read!

Comment by Missnamed

Nina Brown is something special, you can tell just by looking at her. Read the “about me” section of a myspace profile and tell me if that doesn’t leave you impressed and wanting to make a difference.

Comment by Politics As Usual

No wonder Miss Brown is so single. She may “choose” to be that way but then again she does have an unrealistic perspective to what a man is suppose to be. The only way to find the perfect man in her sense of the word is to…duh..let me see…you sinply can’t. Noone is perfect and we all fall short including Nina. I’m not making what men do legitimate but c’mon! The ratio for available black men to women is crazy…like 7 to 1 which makes the dating scene a major playground for any half decent brotha. So the long list of do’s and don’ts appears great but there’s always someone knocking down the door just beggin’ to get in. Point is…What women are looking for and the unrealistic expectations presented will lead to a life of disappointment. A sense of sensitivity / flexibility is the best formula. Nobody wants to be alone not even Nina. Be cool!:)

Comment by sumptinew

I had to go back a few pages to read this again because IT HELPS lol
I feel her 100% in truth and it was a great idea to have a guest blog
thanks BG

Comment by Miss Underst00d

Well nina. As far as men being intimidated by you being around other well connected men 24/7, I think if it were the other way around a lot of women would have an issue too. But I’m assuming most ppl have issues male or female because eventually the person who is living a certain lifestyle wants to have someone on that level too. So a lot of ppl do cheat or become dissatisfied. I’m not sayin you, but ultimately, that is what many ppl fear, “their companion being snitten and leaving for someone better”. N.E. ways, wish u the best, cause it’s hard for most anyone who is successful to find someone n. e. ways.

Comment by cbee

I like the whole concept. I missed you at church-New Birth on last Friday. I would love to talk with you. I have been trying to reach you to discuss other things such as radio…

Please contact me or let me know a more direct way to contact you. THANKS!!!

Comment by Sister Mathis

Now I’m a brotha from L.A. were the social scene is crazy!! Reading why you’re single is something special. I feel ya on the being single in mainstream Atlanta “Hollywood”. It’s cool to see a black woman holding it down and not afraid to say who she is and what she expects. And for me to be a brotha and to see what you are saying and know that it is true in regards to the black men not holding it down it is pretty sad and embarrassing. But you keep being you and I know that God will bless you with the perfect men to fit you.

Comment by Dante Scott

That was Hot! Well said Ms. Nina Brown.

Comment by Patrick Ryan

Well said, I have shared it with all my single friends. I love her style and she knows what she wants!

Comment by LaTonya Bynum

You’re exactly right…you’re single because you choose to be single, unfortunately for you, it’s been an unconscious decision. You have become your worst enemy in this department, and I didnt need to read this “blog” to understand that. From the many comments you make on the radio (when really, I’m wondering since you’re a producer, why you talk to much anyway…i thought it was the Frank & Wanda Show, not Frank, Wanda, AND Nina), you have a lot to learn sweetie. You’re one of the main reasons Frank & Wanda lost me as a listener, because its so irriating to hear you speak about, “he need to have this, he need to have that, if I’m driving a Honda Accord, he need to be driving better, blah blah blah”…please! And the things that you’re speaking about that he “need to have,” are totally materialistic. You are constantly making yourself look like a golddigger and you should be embarassed. Your attitude and view towards men is very skewed. I agree with sumptinew, you have an incredibly unrealistic view of men and who they are. And from what you wrote, it sounds like you don’t need a man in your life because you have it ALL under control…so stay single like you so-called “chose to be.”

Comment by Tiffani

You are single cause the little boys that you dated were just that, little boys. You are single cause you let society tell you, you need a man and not GOD. If we subject ourselves to wasted energy less than ours, we become tiered, but if we combine our energy with that equal to or greater, we become prosperous. Hold on to GOD and let him be the determining factor of what the man for you is to be like and not the man.

Comment by Antonio Martin

wow.

Comment by blackgirlinthecity

I do apologize if i have offended you. I have been a victim of my own subjection of little girls calling themselves women. I now make it a point to be more cautious when choosing to ask a woman out, however i am taking a break right now (LOL).

Comment by Antonio Martin

I, like you, am single, because there is no substitution to GOD’s gift to me for a woman. It has been over a decade since i have had a relationship that i thought would be prosperous, although i have bump my head a couple of times trying to be with women that i know i shouldn’t be with because of my discerning spirit, but i tried to reason.Well, you know how that turned out, so i continue to try and be more wise in my choices and try these women spirit by the word. Your Cali Bra from Watts.

Comment by Antonio Martin

You are single because you choose to be. That is the only thing on this list that really means anything. One thing that stuck out for me though is the attraction to hip hop culture. It seems to me that one thing directly conflicts with half the other items on the list. Being attracted attracted to hip hop culture and expecting a man with that same attraction to have qualities you expect is an exercise in futility.

Comment by cocophilly




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