This is my baby sister M. We found out about each other at the end of summer last year. My pops, all of a sudden after 15 years wants to tell me that I have a sister. Called me up at work and said hey, I have your sister on the phone. Nigga what?! I mean, it was so out of the blue it was crazy. At first I was angry because I knew what it meant…but I already knew that part anyway. She was a love child; her moms and my pops juked it out and made a cute, petite, pretty little thing that acts JUST like me! She’s a Taurus too and spoiled as shit. She has more designer handbags than I do lol.
We’ve been getting to know each other but I admit I haven’t been too diligent. She got her phone taken away for a minute and I was hardly ever on IM or myspace so you know…lol. We did have a little talk about my dad and above all I just wanted to make sure that she was ok. When I was her age I was searching hard body for someone of the opposite sex to teach me, guide me, give me that sense of security I needed. I ended up with a baby that’s now one year younger than her. She and my eldest daughter could be twins. Anyway, we talked about the whole absent dad thing and how it made her feel…and at that moment I felt a deep rooted happiness because I felt like I could give back to a sibling, like everything I’ve gone through over the course of my lifetime I can tell her without censorship and just be real. I’ve broken it down to my brother as real as I possibly can, but at the end of it all I’m not a black man so I can’t teach him shit about what he needs the most of. Lord knows I have a lot of miles and stories to share lol. She actually reads this blog…(hey girl J) something I would never let my babies do (right now). I’m looking forward to cultivating and strengthening our relationship. I know I’ll be a vital resource and friend to her.
In other news I went to my grandmother’s house on Sunday…my great granny was turning 102 and for some reason I thought it was 105 but I can be a dink on remembering stuff. :-\ At first I swear I didn’t wanna fuckin go but I’m glad I went. Everybody in the family was there including yours truly. Yes my pops. I hadn’t seen him since sometime last year, and a few phone conversations and emails in between filled the gaps but nothing serious. I’m not gonna lie, it was pretty awkward telling my little ones, hey girls meet your grandfather. The current dynamics of Black families kill me sometimes yo! It’s a never-ending continuum. So this cute little girl with the most beautiful chocolate skin walks up and smiles. She’s got blue rubber bands around her braces and she was wearing blue rimmed glasses. Pops says to me and my bro, meet your sister. What the FKING FK!? I was caught off guard for real. All I could do I was hug her and act as normal as possible, eventually wandering off to find a bottle of water to quench the effects of sun flames beaming down on my forehead. My normally china doll cut bangs where wisped to the side to avoid the sweat beads. Summer in Georgia is no joke!
Pops says, “Hey conversate with your sister.” Um what the fuck am I supposed to say? “So, what have you been up to for the past 11 years? Do you like your math class?” I mean really. There’s a time and place for everything. I’m excited though because she lives here unlike M who lives in B’more. I hope to get up to her soon. My granny walks up and doesn’t say anything. She just smiles and rubs my back for about two minutes. A mother always knows. When she’s done she says, “Bring the girls around here more often ok? Don’t keep them away from me.” That was a bet. I can’t help that I feel disconnected without a sense of family. I really try, but I just can’t get into it most times. Never felt that connection. I’m gonna make an effort to be better by starting with the two sisters I never knew about, but certainly have the blessing of getting to know and help guide in the right direction. Everything happens for a reason.
Casual conversation surrounds us while I’m trying not to cough from the grill smoke. I could have sworn I’d picked up the smell of semi-seared hotdogs and hamburgers in my hair. Ugh. As I’m distracted with burning eyes and a choking throat my pops says, “Oh yea, you also have a little sister who’s 3. She’s with the wife (who’s fukin 33 by the way) in myrtle beach.” My aunt joked, “Damn. When you gonna stop old man?” He said, “Nah I’m done. I think I have enough children and grandchildren to take care of me when I get old. Black girl are you gonna take care of me when I get old?” Are you serious?
Now you see what the hell I’m talking about.
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