Black Girl In The City.

detox day 11 – keeping my stride
July 3, 2008, 4:00 pm
Filed under: basic $hit., The Detox Files | Tags: ,

Konrad Jakubowski

John Mayer and Jill Scott have been keeping me at ease. It’s been an up and down past few days but I’ve been doing well. Getting more consistent with my workouts and eating habits. Been doing my best to stay busy and listen to myself for a change. Throughout my whirlwind days of highs, lows, tantrums and bitch fits I still managed to climb to higher ground. Honestly I’ve learned a lot about myself and what makes me who I am.

So anyway…I’ve been keeping a list of ‘Lessons’ that I thought would be wonderful to share. It’s growing by the day so you know a part II will be coming!

| The Basic $hit Every Black Girl Should Know |

1. “Let your actions plead your case and carry your weight.”

Sometimes it’s just best to STFU, show and prove.

2. “Walking away doesn’t mean that you’re a quitter, it means that you are intelligent enough to know when to quit.”

3. “As hard as it may be, try to remain open in spite of.”

Being held captive by your past means that the very person(s) associated with it still have control over your life.

4. “Stay Fresh.”

Sorry to break it to ya but if you look like shit, people will treat you like shit. If you look like a million bucks, you’ll become a million bucks a million times faster.

5. “Take care of yourself so that you can be what you should be to everyone else.”

Strive to have complete and total balance in your life.

6. “Sometimes the content of your character really does come before the color of your skin.”

Give people that are not like you the benefit of the doubt. It can take you to heights you could have ever imagined.

7. “It really isn’t all about you.”

Learn to step outside of any situation to understand the truth in it all.

8. “Play your position and don’t try to assume another one.”

It’s your position for a reason. Be the best at your own game and the endorsements, trades and groupies will come on their own.

9. “Relax and take notes.”

Despite what you think you know, everyone you come in contact with has something to teach you.

10. “Give people the benefit of the doubt.”

Assume the upside until they prove otherwise. Makes your life 10 times easier.

11. “Dramatic behavior is never cute so don’t do it.”

Regardless of all of the good things you’ve done, that one bitch ass moment is what people will remember and hold on to, forever making you look like an ass.

12. “Understand and accept the flaw of humanity.”

Be careful of imposing high expectations on other people. Humans are flawed, and expecting or demanding too much will only create friction and discomfort in the relationships you value most.

13. “Feel and feel often.”

Empathy is different than sympathy and is 100 times harder to do but I promise, it’ll make you a better person and the people around you will truly love you for it.”

14. “Happiness is a habit. Do it.”

15. “Talk to yourself everyday.”

Forget what they say, sometimes you have to tell yourself the things you need to hear and not wait for anyone else to do it for you. Everyone needs life spoken into them. If you’re not hearing it, tell your damn self.

16. “It’s ok to turn off your cell phone if it means being readily available to yourself.”

17. “The best cure for a dampened spirit is to do something for someone else.”

18. “Stop fucking around and work your plan. Tomorrow never comes.”

10. “Give people a chance.”

How many times have you percieved a person to be one way before eventually learning they were the exact opposite after getting to know them? Who wants to keep strolling past their blessings assumed to be bogus?

11. “Keep your heart healthy. It’s the only one you’ve got.”

12. “Get Your iPod Game Up.”

As a wise friend would say, It can change your life.

13. “Find a reason to crack the hell up every single day.”

Even if it means blind tripping your co-worker or chopping it up with your funniest friend…laugh and go HARD with it.

14. “Cherish your friends and invest in them wholeheartedly.”

We all know that people come and go, but true friends stay around forever. Anything that’s forever is worth the investment of yourself.

15. “Stay ready.”

Lack of preparation dumps any chance for opportunity.

16. “A strong body is a strong mind, just as a strong mind is a strong body.”

Having both is so damn sexy.

17. “If it doesn’t make sense walk.”

Your intuition is just that. Sometimes it’s not meant for us to haggle our brains to figure stuff out. Eff it and keep your stride.

18. “Lip gloss and a cocktail dress can make all the difference.”

19. “Look people in the eyes and genuinely smile when you see them.”

Whether they let you know or not, it totally makes their day.

And my very favorite…

20. “Grace must always superseded attitude.”

(oh and I started smoking again but wtf ever.)

-black girl.


12 Comments so far
Leave a comment

I just printed this out, and I’m gonna put it on my bulletin board in the bedroom. Good shit.

Comment by shay

I so needed this in my quest to reinvent my self into the strong, wise, unfaultering black woman I need to be! I so needed this. Thanks for checking out my spot it really made my day.

Comment by CrazySexyWeird

Amen!!! Me Too Shay ^^^!! This one is a classic Black Girl!

Comment by Kisa tha Diva


Comment by Believer

CLASSIC! This might be your best one yet (in my opinion!). I love it. I’m printing it out. Lord knows, I need to reflect on these things DAILY. HOURLY, maybe!

Comment by Southern_Lady

A lot of people needed this, including me.
Thank you. 🙂

Comment by amy

I needed this. Each and every line rings true! Thank you girl! Sometimes you need reminder to check yourself!!!

Comment by Kitty

This could not have came at a perfect time and day!! I will be posting this at work in my cube and on my vision wall (basically the back of my bedroom door). Thanks!!

Comment by Quarter Life Crisis

I just told my homegirl that i need to really check myself and find out what’s most important to me and life i think this list is a push start. also Check out Erykah Badu Orange Moon I know its old but the words are uplifting I tried to detox on the same schedule as you and I fell off last wed. 😦 I know its a challange but hey it’s from the earth & it keeps my gun on safety

Great post Black Girl!!!!

Comment by Meli

I thought okay another person with a big mouth and nothing to say. Wow, you have a lot of knowledge. Good for you. Your journey in life is so full of pleasure and pain which most people would keep to themselves. You chose to share it with me and others. Bold. Your list is simple yet insightful, funny and honest. Thanks.

Comment by Detour

“Let your actions plead your case and carry your weight.”
Sometimes it’s just best to STFU, show and prove.

Wow, this post really spoke out to me. This quote in particular, because more often than not I feel as though I have to verbally justify myself, and why should I, because I’m just doing me! You know what, from now on this is my mantra lol!

Comment by LovexHate

I like this post so much that I got to re post this to my website. I swear I thought you were talking directly to me. You just made yourself a fan.

Comment by divine wisdom

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