Filed under: Matters of the Heart., Reflections of a Black Girl, The Detox Files | Tags: betrayal, friends, intuition, trust
I had a problem. I dreamed the answer. Then I got the truth the very next day. It stared back at me taunting me like the silly bitch I’d been. At that moment I realized how stupid I had been for allowing someone to throw salt right under my nose. Silly me. The messed up part about it is that I had no clue of how this person thought about me “truthfully” and respected our friendship until today. I’m thinking, “Oh it’s cool, one of the few friends I can trust well enough to…” BANANAS! I shouldn’t trust anyone and I’m pissed as fuck right now – more so I feel disappointed and betrayed. But as the saying goes, “Money over bitches,” and in this instance I’d made a sour mistake of mixing the two. Going into details isn’t important because I guess I’m just talking myself into the lessons behind it all (they’re purple :-))). There really isn’t anyone to blame or point fingers at…the situation is the way it is. What you learn from it is the key to passing your karmic lesson.
We all have our issues, especially as women. But I’d never done anything to this person intentionally, and if it were brought to me like friends do, I would always address and even apologize if I made them feel a certain way. There are often times when people are unaware of how they make you feel until you speak up and say it. I am still speechless and don’t even know what to say. I just had to put this down and be on my way.
Quite the contrary to what is assumed, there are strings attached to everything…but the craftiest puppeteer will fool you into feeling as though there are none tied between the two of you, when in fact the strings are an invisible vehicle utilized to satisfy hidden motifs, whatever they may be.
I’m exceedingly shocked to the point that I probably won’t speak of it again, and if they don’t know that I know, they never ever will. I can’t stand conflict which at times make me a target to catch you by surprise. Just because you are capable doesn’t mean you should do it. We all have the power to do anything but we only have one energy reserve that must be used sparingly. There is power in choosing. And Never be foolish enough to leave your back door open knowing that there are pit bulls waiting for the chance to sneak in and destroy. Although I’m learning the true meaning of ‘friend’, I wish other people understood and respected it. Hell yea, I’m LIVID. I had my spill, I went off, and now it’s done. If you would have been in my position, you most certainly wouldn’t just be ‘blogging’ or venting about it. This is my way and how I deal which to me is constructive if I keep it positive. My ability to see beyond the person and what they are doing at the moment to the interior of who they really are keeps me realistic and to an extent understanding, and to the greatest height – compassionate. The purpose in this situation was for me to get what I needed in order to clean out the space I’d committed to clearing during this here detox.
“Sometimes the best exercise of strength is to do absoultely nada and to allow things, and the persons involved, to heal themselves.” No hard feelings and I’m certainly not a fan of jealousy or pettiness, just that of RESPECT and TRUTH.
Yea, that’s what I’m on these days. flappin mah wings!
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