Black Girl In The City.

cruzin on auto…
August 9, 2008, 3:58 pm
Filed under: Get it Poppin!, My Work. My Hustle. | Tags: , ,

(Black Rainbow Photoshoot)

OMG I need to rename myself the Resident Insomniac. I’ve been pushing late nights for a few nights now. There’s something not allowing me to sleep. I just don’t know what it is. Part of the reason could be that I’ve written, edited, and re-written the synopsis for my current project a million effing times! I’m getting so frustrated because honestly there wasn’t anything thing wrong with it to begin with. I’ve submitted initially as it was but the freakin perfectionist in me decides to hack it up. Bad idea because now I’m trying to get the new angle right and won’t sleep until I do lol. Anyway…

I think I can finally stop feeling guilty about my decisions. I think I did what I needed to do concerning B, and I knew it was for a reason greater than myself. Hence the battle of my body and soul. My soul said I had done my part now I should let completely go so he’ll have that push he needs to step into the light. I’ve been watching his writings and he’s definitely on to the right things. Just made me smile because I played a part in helping him find purpose and passion again. It’s crazy how we never see our true role in others’ lives until we step away. The other stuff was never meant to be. At first it bothered me how he totally made me out to be the bad the guy when I was the person that brought so much value to his life. But it’s cool, I’m a better black girl for it. 🙂

I’m sitting here at 1:40 am in a dress and flip flops wondering why the hell I ate noodles this late! My heart is burning! But I’ve got a lot of work to do, especially in my writing. For the first time in my life I’m wearing a “hello my name is” sticker that says: Hello, My Name is Black Girl and I’m a Freelance writer & journalist. Do you know how long it took me to get that? I had a conversation with LOLA the other night and she really put some things into perspective for me. I’ve spent years running in circles yet ending back at square one…the notepad and pen. But I think the hop scotch jungle gym stuff was necessary so I could have the understanding of life I needed in order to become a greater writer. Seems like since I’ve actually identified myself and proclaimed my passion, the work has become more intertwined with my everyday life. Even though I haven’t mentioned or spoken about it much the plan is in motion so my question to you this week is…“However do you want me?”

-black girl.


2 Comments so far
Leave a comment

howvere do you need me, HOW? know Im ALLLL for your writing career–I think thats your calling, passion, and ultimately what makes you the happiest and most complete!
Good for you sis!

and erm, think i can get a shout-out in one of the upcoming books? hmm..thx.

Comment by Raven

“It’s crazy how we never see our true role in others’ live until we step away.”

I loved that. Dope.

Comment by Mimi

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