Black Girl In The City.


ask black girl .02: Update on Mickey
August 22, 2008, 5:54 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

So Mickey (who would have graciously preferred the name Charlotte) 🙂 read my advice and has decided to keep her unborn child. If you didn’t get a chance to read the original post Click Here to go straight to it.

When it comes to topics such as abortion or giving advice concerning it I tread very cautiously by making sure I don’t impose my personal views on the person, or attempt to gently persuade them into doing what I feel they should do. I am glad that Mickey chose life though. I think now that she’s made a sound decision everything else will flow as intended and she’ll be quite alright.

Mickey (or Charlotte) , I wish you luck on your newest journey and commend you for doing what’s right in your eyes. It’s times like this where I am ever so greatful to be given the privilege to use what I have to hopefully make a difference in another person’s life. It’s so funny because I’ve been doing this with my friends for a while now and thought nothing of it. Guess it just took a little suggestion from a tiny Canadian friend to open up the doors. I love it, and I love helping you guys (and myself too) lol. But then again, isn’t that what its all about?

“My focus is going to be on me, this baby, my kids and my family. If he is still around, great. If not, still great.” – Mickey

Hell yea!

-black girl

Say Something. | blackgirlinthecity@gmail.com

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3 Comments so far
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YAY!!!

Well done Black Girl.

And gooooooooo Mickey (Charlotte).

This is a great, great thing you are doing black girl. Sometimes real advice only counts when it’s from someone who has been there.

Much love 🙂

Comment by Tally

Its easy to give out advice but this is this young lady’s life. Hopefully she will not be one of many on my caseload (SW) who living in a shelter with her children struggling. Remember, you may beaten the system with a lot of hard work and sacrifice but who says she will. Will you be there when her rent is due, car broken (again) and no food in the cupboard. I do love your advice but please be careful. I knew she would take your advice from the way you wrote it.

Comment by BabyBear

Hey BabyBear, I wholly agree with you and too feel that things of this nature are VERY sensitive topics. I’m pretty sure you read the original post, but I wanted to point out that I advised she should make the choice for ‘herself’ and added…

“All of that to say listen to your heart and make the choice for yourself. Don’t listen to him, your family or your friends because their outside influence could literally change the course of your life. Go in a room alone, lock the door, sit in silence and listen. I guarantee you without a shadow of a doubt you’ll hear an answer. But it will be up to you to trust that it is divinely right and move on it.”

Regardless of whatever advice we give on any topic I think its important to play a neutral role by attempting to address ‘the cause’ and not the symptoms or outcomes. An outcome of Mickey’s cause was the fact that she got pregnant by a man not once but three times which shows that he may not have her best interest at heart. So the tips I gave were universal in a way that regardless of what decision she chose, she should still think about doing some of the things I mentioned in order to (a) prevent repetitive mistakes and empower herself and (b) to understand the ‘whys’, correct them, and prepare for whatever transition needed to get out of the situation she was in…with or without child.

I’m not sure I necessarily ‘beat’ the system. I was on welfare, twice. I’ve been homeless. I’ve been without cars, I’ve walked in the rain with my kids and I’ve been close to eviction more than once. I’ve gone to shelters for free food and free coats for the kids, I’ve gone hungry so my kids could eat, and I’ve done things that I am not proud of just for the sake of them having a roof over their heads and clothes for school. So my story was not an ‘i can do it, so you beat the system too’ kinda thing… it was more of an, ‘i made the choice for MYSELF and didn’t listen to anyone,’ and because of that I was ok regardless. The moral of the story being, nobody can tell you what you should or should not do. Trust yourself and you will make the best decision without outside persuasion.

I’m a realist like yourself but I think it is important to disclose what you stated while at the same time offering positive reinforcement that self empowerment is the key. Thanks for the comment, I was waiting for someone to bring it up! We all interpret things differently and clarification is sometimes needed so that things are not taken out of context and misinterpreted based on the angle it is written from. I wouldn’t be a good journalist if I didn’t take such factors into consideration. 🙂

Comment by blackgirlinthecity




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