Black Girl In The City.

Pretty Girl & The Heart Living Woman.
November 21, 2008, 1:19 pm
Filed under: Reflections of a Black Girl | Tags: ,

Adriana Lopez

I’ve been spending a lot of time rearranging. My thought process, surroundings, everything. I’ve got to start doing things differently. I mean like really differently. Change up my moves, habitat, friendship circles, style, patterns and attitude, everything…just all around different .

Call it one of those moments if you will. So happened my moment kicked in, has lasted a weeklong and is for the most part still in progress. I think what jump started it all was the issue with my pops among other things. The last time we spoke really opened my eyes to what life, family, love, God and everything else are really about. What really matters in the end. Those terms are just mere packages even. Shells. What goes on the inside is up to us. Obviously the more we put into these things the greater and richer they become. Viewing my life along those terms reminded me that I have to make adjustments in order to increase the richness of my own.

I have always lived my life pretty face first, charisma second and whatever falls behind thee last. As part product of a beautiful Virgo mother, I was taught from childhood that if your looks can get you far enough, your intelligence could get you the rest of the way. A firm believer that premium appearance was half the battle in life, my mother showed me “G” style how far putting those things ahead could get you. A few beauty pageant trophies and plaques later I could see why as a little girl I found this to be true. I can also say that this theory has gotten the best and worst of me. In some cases an oxymoron even. Putting yourself out there as attractive attracts a lot of things that may not be good for you. And if you’re living with everything else but your heart, well…you’re going now where fast in a car to no where, pretty girl. That can’t be me.

So by doing things differently I mean that I need to work on enriching some areas of my life that I’ve left unattended when things got tough. For most of my life I’ve been living face forward but very rarely did I rely on my heart and love to take me through. Been there done that and didn’t like the feeling. And you can’t blame me totally for it. Look at the society we live in. Where bitch is beautiful and bad is always good. One almost has to live with a certain degree of vanity and wit just to remain emotionally in tact while surviving the game. So yea I’ve been cold as ice when I wanted to be, and a warm-hearted bunny less often as time passed on but I want to live more this way. I am a firm believer that true ladies never denounce their ‘pretty girl’, but I’m also becoming a huge fan of the woman that lives with her heart first…thus filling every empty package of her life with the things that enrich it most, never forgetting to balance.

-black girl.


6 Comments so far
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Youve been tagged girl…

Comment by TLC

Please be ever so careful. I think with my heart and when things go right everything is great but when people abuse the open-heartedness it hurts DEEP, especially when you could never be as cold to some people as they are to you. Be cautious. I beg of you.

Comment by mindblower

I’ve dealt with this battle.. & felt that same feeling of wanting to move with your heart first. It was and sometimes still is a tough thing to do. The one thing that I didn’t do was change my surroundings and that ultimately lead to my failure in that endeavor.

Comment by BAM!beano

This is inspirational , I think at a point in your life everyone needs to change for the better of themselves. I had to go through this and trust me it’s not easy, but its oh so worth it.

Comment by streetetiquette

i’ve been feeling much the same lately..the need to rearrange, do things differently etc.

regarding the part about pretty girl/girl who lives with her heart first, so funny cause i always think about this and how it relates to my personal experiences. i’ve always been one who lives with my heart, yet tend to be related to a lot of times based on looks. this has been one of my biggest annoyances in life.

still tryna work that out…

Comment by fly tie

Im still mad Bean beats me to these posts and I put HER on here. LOL!!!
Too funny.

I loved this and it is very true to life. The whole re-arraging stresses me. But I digress. I loved this. and Eric Roberson is love.

Comment by mimi

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