Filed under: Reflections of a Black Girl | Tags: eric roberson, pretty girl
I’ve been spending a lot of time rearranging. My thought process, surroundings, everything. I’ve got to start doing things differently. I mean like really differently. Change up my moves, habitat, friendship circles, style, patterns and attitude, everything…just all around different .
Call it one of those moments if you will. So happened my moment kicked in, has lasted a weeklong and is for the most part still in progress. I think what jump started it all was the issue with my pops among other things. The last time we spoke really opened my eyes to what life, family, love, God and everything else are really about. What really matters in the end. Those terms are just mere packages even. Shells. What goes on the inside is up to us. Obviously the more we put into these things the greater and richer they become. Viewing my life along those terms reminded me that I have to make adjustments in order to increase the richness of my own.
I have always lived my life pretty face first, charisma second and whatever falls behind thee last. As part product of a beautiful Virgo mother, I was taught from childhood that if your looks can get you far enough, your intelligence could get you the rest of the way. A firm believer that premium appearance was half the battle in life, my mother showed me “G” style how far putting those things ahead could get you. A few beauty pageant trophies and plaques later I could see why as a little girl I found this to be true. I can also say that this theory has gotten the best and worst of me. In some cases an oxymoron even. Putting yourself out there as attractive attracts a lot of things that may not be good for you. And if you’re living with everything else but your heart, well…you’re going now where fast in a car to no where, pretty girl. That can’t be me.
So by doing things differently I mean that I need to work on enriching some areas of my life that I’ve left unattended when things got tough. For most of my life I’ve been living face forward but very rarely did I rely on my heart and love to take me through. Been there done that and didn’t like the feeling. And you can’t blame me totally for it. Look at the society we live in. Where bitch is beautiful and bad is always good. One almost has to live with a certain degree of vanity and wit just to remain emotionally in tact while surviving the game. So yea I’ve been cold as ice when I wanted to be, and a warm-hearted bunny less often as time passed on but I want to live more this way. I am a firm believer that true ladies never denounce their ‘pretty girl’, but I’m also becoming a huge fan of the woman that lives with her heart first…thus filling every empty package of her life with the things that enrich it most, never forgetting to balance.
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