*Fighting a bug and the urge to relax my hair – wish me well!* 🙂
Filed under: Get it Poppin! | Tags: common, holiday plans, universal mind control
Lionel Deluy | Factory 311
Alright this photo has nothing to do with my holiday plans but I promise you it’s like summer outside and the weather has inspired me, lol. Ok, summer may be an exaggeration and the song may be a little hype but really its hella warm out. And aside from being incredibly stoked that all things good and new are under way, I have to say that my excitement in being away from the office for the rest of month is finally here.
When Black Girl taking a much needed vacation was first suggested, the workaholic grunt in me gritted my teeth in agony. “Eh, what am I gonna do for 8 hours in a day that doesn’t involve business?” I seriously could think of a million things to do but I’d have to reprogram myself to not be on the program lol. Could I really go an entire week day without checking my blackberry? Hmm but to hell with it, and even though I’d intentionally left my newly assigned recess time in the breeze it seemed as though my appointments were beginning to book faster than I imagined…
Tomorrow night I’ll be attending a company Christmas Party to kick off the playtime festivities. Friday I’ll be at the Eric Roberson concert courtesy of my bestest friend in the whole wide world! I’m sure we’ll stop by ‘Broke & Boujee’ since I’d committed to that first anyway. Saturday is K-Dizzle’s Birthday Pub Crawl (yes he gave it a name) lol. Apparently he’s summoned all of his friends, young and old, to meet at the first locale before moving on to three or four more bar spots. The Crawl will end with (probably drunken) tree trimming fun at his house but I’m sure I’ll be long gone by then. Sunday Kimora and I will probably talk even more smack than before at the Pistons game. Monday I’m scheduled to attend a Christmas party for my writer’s club chapter and Welcome Mag at the Atlanta History Center. The plan there is obvious but I just hope they have good food and at least one exhibit open. 🙂
The following days I’ll probably be recovering somewhere close to home. The highlight of my vacation could very well be my quick out of town look see to hang with JC. I’m not sure how we even got on me traveling but when the invite was extended I accepted with a smile. An invite to Los Angeles only two days after I return from kicking it with JC could be in the air because I doubt I’ll have anything left in me to fly cross country on New Years Day. But I’m known to change my mind at the last minute.
So we’ll see how far I get with this loose plan but my goal is to not to bail on-a-one! Wish me luck, grace, and pretty dresses for one and all.
Filed under: Uncategorized
So, I’m back, recharged…a lot of things I’ve been meaning to do have been done. Wrapped tight, signed, sealed and first class delivered. I really just had to step away from everything for a while and breathe life into my home and myself. Stepping back to think about me, what I want, where I was going, checking my progress and really making some commitments to myself that I’d failed to keep heart to in times past. It all began the day I found my neatly typed list of 2008 Goals that I’d smothered in the back of a bulky planner, avoiding them like the plague. I was afraid to check my progress until the day they fell out of the secret place. They were right there in my face so I had no choice but to face my fears. As I scanned the organized list of goals and action items I realized that I’d actually achieved a lot of what I’d set out to do. I hate the character flaw that makes me think that things are much worse than the really are. lol. Seeing that I’d done a lot of what I’d set out to do motivated me to push myself to meet the rest of my goals by the end of the year. And in that I was beginning to gain a clear understanding that I cannot continue to apply new philosophy and action to old people , places or things. I have to move on, move alone, and move on my own terms.
Something a former client once told me –
“You know, we’re in our 30’s, not getting any younger. We’re smart and on the cutting edge of what’s next in fashion and business. No time for playing, there’s no time for that cause 40 is just around the corner. I plan to earn my next million before then. Nobody has time to waste on shyt that offers no return, especially people. Stick and move. Get that and you’ll eat forever.”
– flashed in live color across my mind as I stared at my cell phone. Text messaging wars between the dreaded Scorpio and I. Although I’d done my best to prove the astrological theory that a Taurus and Scorpio = disaster, I gave up. When I tell you why and how the techno scrap down began you’re gonna gasp. I did several times before his next message popped up. It was at that point that I thought to myself, “What. The. Hell. Am. I. Doing?” This cat was never gonna hear me through all the damn baggage of his past crowding up his space. How did the inevitable crash and burn ensue? When the man with a chip on his shoulder decided to turn his underlying hatred for women on me.
Two tickets to the Knicks game. I’d gotten them for his birthday because he’s been a basketball fan since birth. Like he came out of the womb dribbling or something. I text to let him know I got the tickets and to make sure we were still on. His text message response was:
“What’s up can I get some?”
My response was, “Under the right circumstances.”
And I EVEN put a little smiley face at the end to make it a little sweeter. According to him the Kool-Aid had no sugar and my comment pissed him off. The next day I spent my morning commute explaining to him that I wanted to get to know him without sex being involved because it kept things clear. Our history was deep so I really wanted to go slow to make sure things remained cool.
“I’m older now,” I said, “And I’m trying to do things differently than in times past. I’m just saying I want to fall in love with someone for all of the right reasons and that takes time.”
There was a short pause so I continued, “I know what your favorite color is but I don’t know if you still draw as good as you used to and,” I said, “have you every read anything I’ve written?”
His response was, “No to both.”
And my point was proven. To claim to want a relationship with me and not know how important writing is to my existence is a very bad thing. Why invest my energy, gas, time, and more importantly body in someone that doesn’t even know me like they should? He still didn’t get it.
Later in the day I asked him if he wanted to ride in one or two cars to the game and he says, “I’m not sure if I’m going I’ll let you know.”
Not even at that point did the crash and burn begin. The fireball went up in full flair when this guy basically tells me that if I don’t want to have sex with him then he needs to save his Friday night for someone that would be willing to give him want he wanted. His key concern in all of our dealings was that he was afraid that I would only want to give him sex on my terms. Ha.
I ended it all with:
I think its best we not talk any more.
Something I’d later find myself saying more and more often to individuals in a life that had officially changed status. The one great thing I did in 2008 was transition from “Whatever You Want” to “My Own Terms” status and that in itself is something to toast to.
Life is short, good… and I certainly have better things to do with my 30’s.
One of my favorite songs! Kindred Family Soul’s “Stars”.
So i can’t write like I normally do because a lot of things are happening in my life right now personally – but this is good and I’m focusing and listening to what’s best and right. Will definitely explain later – just wanted to let you guys know that I’m still here, still writing, but just listening more than flapping my chops at the moment. Stay tuned and thanks for the emails. 🙂 Happy Holidays!