Black Girl In The City.


The “F” Word (or lack thereof): Conclusion.
January 9, 2009, 2:05 pm
Filed under: Reflections of a Black Girl

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Raphael Vicenz

A chunk of time had passed before I’d finally seized back my britches and come to my senses. A conversation with a close friend reminded me of how I tend to make things more serious than they truly are, and it’s not a secret to the world that I live with much heart. So when it comes to challenges and people (especially those in my immediate circle) I have a hard time not treating everything with care and concern. We all know that in itself can become life’s burden. My home girl really checked me and brought me back to soil…“Like for real – fix the problem because this is an essential element you’ll need, and stop believing you’re in control of what happens in your life.”

So in my effort to let life be I had since left my water-filled prison, dressed and had begun the process of cleaning and re-arranging things around my room. I still hadn’t unpacked from my mini trip with *Chris the weekend before so tidying my space was definitely a must on the ‘to-do’. And as I sorted garments and put shoes away remembering the thoughts of my friend, the answer to that prayer I’d put in the air hours before descended upon my thoughts and blurted one word:

FAITH.


That was my issue and somewhere along the way I’d gotten so caught up in the world that I’d forgotten the importance of that lifeline and component. My belief in certain things had gradually chipped away, slowly willowing into a lump of nothingness that ultimately served no purpose. I’d in a sense allowed my freedom to be taken away by losing my Faith in what mattered THE MOST. I really had to check myself and understand that people panic because they do not believe. They don’t believe in themselves enough to trust that the unseen is far more powerful than what is seen. They don’t believe that heart-break could spell blessing, that circumstance can create opportunity, or that hardships build character. I’d essentially forgotten that adversity and challenge sharpen the mind, and without either I wouldn’t be where I am at this given moment. It’s easy to forget when you’re in the mix on your own and dealing with layers of life around you.  Somewhere I’d gotten stuck in some kind of whacked out battleship that hovers fields of internalization and isolation.

I plucked my arm and vowed to begin the process of rebuilding my faith. Faith in my family, people, myself and most importantly the ONE that trumps them all. The bug out session may not be my last, but it’s definitely the last of its kind. Especially since I’ve been reminded that there is Freedom in my Faith.

-black girl.

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11 Comments so far
Leave a comment

“….believe enough to trust that the unseen is far more powerful than what is seen…..hardships build character.” So. Deep. So. True. Keep the real coming, Black Girl.

Comment by PoweRGirlNY

see what happens? not only did you have your moment of clarity, but you totally gave me one when it was MUCH needed. thanks, BG 😉

Comment by bd

“They don’t believe in themselves enough to trust that the unseen is far more powerful than what is seen. They don’t believe that heart-break could spell blessing, that circumstance can create opportunity, or that hardships build character. I’d essentially forgotten that adversity and challenge sharpen the mind, and without either I wouldn’t be where I am at this given moment.”

Words I really need to read at this point of time. I’m in the midst of still mourning over the break-up of me and my 1st BF and reading this blog entry is helping me get a greater prespective on things and that EVERYTHING,no matter how painful it is, happens for a reason. Believe me everything that you’re going through, there are plenty of other women out there who feel what you feel.

Comment by Lanai

:-)))

Comment by blackgirlinthecity

Can’t wait until Thursday!!!!

Comment by Hair Braiding Queen

“Faith is stepping out on nothing and landing on something” This is something I heard once when I really was feeling along and needed it while in a foreign land. I did a post on it here. http://kwanawrites.blogspot.com/2008/11/i-gotta-have-faith.html
You’re a wonderful writer. Great blog!

Comment by Kwana

you asked me months ago why i love this blog…this entry explains it all 🙂 positive growth is what i aspire to. this is one of the inspirations that reminds me that everything is not lost.

Comment by dot

so i saw it. i was a tab bit disappointed i must say. im a biggie fan. i know damn near every song. word for word. i was a kid when he died but i can remember being sad when my sister told me.

i think the movie is coo for those who know nothing about him. But i felt like alot a missing.

Comment by amber

Oh man…
Not event too sure how I ran into your blog, but thank God that I did. I am a stranger, a twenty three year old woman, from Chicago. And all that you wrote struck such a powerful chord. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Comment by jasmine

“I really had to check myself and understand that people panic because they do not believe. They don’t believe in themselves enough to trust that the unseen is far more powerful than what is seen. They don’t believe that heart-break could spell blessing, that circumstance can create opportunity, or that hardships build character.”

This hit home for me really hard. I’ve been struggling with my faith lately and I really needed to read this today.

This is my 1st time at your spot and I like what I’ve read. I’ll definitely be back! 🙂

Comment by Mimi

Great reflection! I love your taste and art as well…that alone says a lot. Keep writing!

Comment by Blank.Bare.Clean




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