Black Girl In The City.

Magnum Worthy?
March 21, 2009, 6:25 am
Filed under: Dirty Talk | Tags: , ,


So this topic has come up on more than one occasion amongst my group of girls. Only this time it happened to pop up while in my hair dresser’s chair with no place to go, lol. We all know how ‘beauty shop chat’ can get so you could only imagine how far south the conversation went after the clock had struck ten, the patron started passing and I’d only gotten halfway home to my long silky mane.

I stayed quiet for the most part, absorbing it got wild. They were wild. Soon the topic of the grand almighty MAGNUM condumundo came up.

“I don’t care what you say, I snatch condoms off regardless of what kind they are,” said the shop owner . She was skinny as hell, like a pound or two heavier than my ten year old. I liked her personality though. Ghetto as hell with butterfly wings for eyelashes. You could tell she was a bout it girl. Explicatives left her lips a mile a minute. She was likely to say anything at any given moment. I continued to listen, cringing as Gina gathered strands of my hair to weave cornrows across my head.

“Well he must be wearing a Magnum when he ain’t supposed to. ” Her brother was walking in the door with more Patron and filthy talk to entertain the crew. He couldn’t even get in the door good before jumping in the conversation.

The argument turned into the fact that there are some cats living in a false reality. Whom, maybe in their dreams, feel that their penis is large and packing…hefty enough to be worthy of Magnum brand protection. Now I don’t know what’s so special about this particular condom but I’m convinced that the gold foil packaging has something to do with it. Anything with gold foil says, “Exclusive. The world is yours.” Especially to the unsuspecting fantasy man who assumes he can fit the bill. Ladies get excited when they see the gold foil come out, and I’m sure men appreciate the gleam of excitement in her eyes before it all goes down. But…I and other women feel that some of you are abusing the Magnum Gold Foil Membership. And you know who you are.


-black girl.


16 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Lol, that song so fits this title. I wish I wouldve heard that convo. Guys really do need to come back to reality. I know so many guys that feel they can fit a magnum when they need to just wear a lifestyle, have sex, & be happy knowing they played it safe.

Comment by glamourouz109

we missed you! keep it up!

Comment by smart0nez

Yea some dudes abuse the gold. Lucky for me I Don’t Know Them!!!

Comment by kittykittykatana

accidently got here on purpose . .
mag team,
if you dont belong.. sucks. haha

Comment by Lion

Magnum condoms are like Willy Wanka golden tickets for women: we ALL hope to get one! However, those of us who get excited over the wrapper, know personally that it’s not always what we anticipate it to be. We all know that a man’s most prized possession is his ego, so if it makes his shallow ass feel a tiny bit better to wear a condom he knows good and damn well is NOT made for him, then why not let him have his fun!? Afterall, I’ll have a good laugh when it’s all said and done 😉

Comment by Whitni

Ok…so I was literally ROFLMBO at this particular blog. This is so true though. I’m sure most women have had that horrible encounter and can still see the image of that man giving the “large and in charge” look as he pulled the “gold foil” out, but our face after the let down of what was placed in it….PRICELESS!

Love the blog Black Girl! Keep em’ comin!

Comment by NikkiNic

I totally agree. The first time me and my partner did the deed, I brought over two condoms. The free lifestyle ones form the clinic and the gold foil. I placed one in each hand and told him to choose…honestly. Of course he choose the gold foil and I must say..dayum he was right. LOL!

Comment by YoungBlackBeauty

nooooooo comment! LOLOL

Comment by blackgirlinthecity

some of us can barely fit mags .. :”(

Comment by Lion

I had this guy attempt to wear a Magnum and my being young @ the time decided not to call him out! Looking back I know I should have because his ass didn’t have the nerve to tell me that it slipped off while we were gettin’ it in. Anyway, the reason that I even found out was that it actually came out of me the next day. Nasty but true, needless to say he doesn’t count (LMBAO!) and he never got round #2!
Guys stop kidding yourself and dissappointing us in the process, please!

Comment by Mystry

Funny. Never met anyone that played it off.

Comment by Joona

patron at the beauty salon?? remember to take me THERE on my next visit.
nothing worse than a baggy condom–eww–guys: just buy the right size that fits!

Comment by Ray

well, I keep gold packs around, but I must admit, I started wearing them before I was ready to. I’m 24 now, but i started using mags when I was like 17, and I really wasn’t ready for it. The condom would slip off and i blamed it on girls being so tight, but it was really just to big. I should have just put on a regular trojan.

6 years later, I’m proud to say that I’m wearing magnums appropriately. I’m not into Magnum XL status or anything, but my length and width increased enough to get it right.

on the same token, i’ve had a one very honest woman tell me that I did in fact have a big instrument, but I still wasn’t satisfying her and she didn’t get any enjoyment from our sexual encounters. It was more pain than pleasure for her.

Comment by undressingHER

okay….. soooo this is def hilarious…..

Comment by Kamra

So my boyfriend and I use them. At first I was like No he doesnt have only mags….then we tried the regular trojan (mine) and I realized the mags were a better fit.

Comment by Girly

This topic is definitely something that needs airing out. Guys should have no shame in their size because it’s something they have absolutely no control over. Although I’ve never had an issue with any posers, my current boyfriend surprised me with the gold our first time together and I was happy that not only did it actually fit, it was a little tug. But really, guys should just save themselves the embarrassment and wear what fits you. If you doin’ your thang, you don’t have to pretend to have something you don’t.

Besides, I’ve had bad sex with a big dick, so size definitely matters, but so does skills!

Comment by La Verdad

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