Black Girl In The City.

no thanks.
April 9, 2009, 12:53 pm
Filed under: The SAGA | Tags: , ,


Juicy Art

If its one thing I’ve learned its to let alone and let be if I know it ain’t for me. When I was younger I was often afraid to say no. Carried it into my adult hood creating some pretty interesting situations turned the best life lessons. Those lessons partnered with maturity make it easier for me to take an objective look with minimal emotion and physical involvement, and in turn decide whether or not to rock based on the stuff that matters. Even then I may go wrong but exchanging old pleasures and habits for more ‘peace’ of mind is enough to keep me turning away from the tainted….

I’ve lived within the same fifty mile radius for more than sixteen years so I’m always bound to run into someone I know or have known. And in the case of “have knowns”, gotta be honest and say that some of them should probably remain that way. I’m a firm believer that certain people and things are behind you for a reason. And despite my desires to keep it movin’ a certain ‘have known’ has been rallying in the sidelines, eager to jump in the game

Oddly enough it was a basketball game. One of the few rival NBA home matches that people make it a point to attend each year. I was bound to run into some knows and have knowns. In the midst of defense shouting and somewhere around third quarter I felt a familiar pair of eyes searing a hole into my brain. I paused, surveying my surroundings – only to see him wide-eyed , all in my grill waiting for the perfect moment to lock gazes. I laughed when I recognized who it was…a “have known” we’ll call Corlin, an old flame and friend.

Back in the day, like 90’s back in the day, Corlin and I kicked it. We started out as great friends who’d been introduced by my work out partner and his best friend. I was in school then trying to work and raise a child also so I didn’t have the time he needed. He didn’t have the patience I needed either so we chilled before officially cutting loose. I could have cared less. I wasn’t even 21 yet.

About five years later we run into each other again, only this time in a grocery store. Lots had changed, I was on my new ish, better ish. And at first I thought it was cool to kick it and catch up over lunch. It was all was good until he kisses my fingers, tells me he’s engaged, but only to confess that he should have married me. Womp, womp, womp. I wasn’t buying it nor the proposal to swing by his place afterwards. A gesture I quickly refused thinking Really, ninja? What do I look like?


I don’t think so.

He was mad disrespectful with the ‘’back to my crib for a quickie’” proposition but more importantly he’d disrespected his bride to be. So I cut him off at the smell of smoke, not even giving him a chance to explain

Now here we are again, five more years later and this guy (of all people) is seated a few rows ahead of me with his wifey and their crew. I grinned, nodded and wiggled a few fingers hello. He draped his left hand over his seat and I could see his wedding band. Our eyes locked before I looked away and excused myself to the bathroom.

After the game ends he and his crew stand up and gather in a circle in the corner of the court. It’s obvious Corlin’s wasted because he’s talking mad shyt to everyone and being a really ostentatious drunk. A few hand clasps and shoulder taps after that the crew and thier ladies assemble single file and begin walking my way to exit.

Corlin pretends to notice me last, speaking to my mom and daughters first, then me. His wife never said hello which I thought was pretty rude, and although she was prettier than I’d imagined her stank ass attitude ruined it all. He watched her take a few steps before whispering into my ear, “Your beauty has always been timeless. Make sure you call me.” Brushed his Vodka scented, Carmex coated lips against my cheek as he drew away. The deed took all but sixty seconds and in an instant they were gone.

Of course I never called him but that didn’t deter Corlin’s efforts. A few months later I’m muddling through friend requests on Facebook – low and behold! I accept and he sends a note: Thanks for finally accepting me. What have you been up to? I gave a one sentencer and he replied with his phone number and instructions to “Call.” No. Siree.

Fast forward to yesterday while I’m working like a diligent little bee. Office phone rings and I unsuspectingly pick it up. You guessed it! His cocky, half grunt half laugh was enough for me to hang up but I just held the phone and listened to him talk. The argument was that I hadn’t given him a chance to be a part of my new life, and he wanted me to be a part of his. All the while I’m thinking to myself, why? Sure and dandy I’m all for friendly gestures but something tells me that he’s got something else up his sleeve; other plans on his mind. That kinda stuff I just don’t need and can’t afford to mess with now…and never.

I probably would have been flattered by his puffery and concealed intentions back in the day but today is different and I know exactly what’s for me. He’d find a way to break the rules to grab my booty anyway.

No. Thanks.

-black girl.

15 Comments so far
Leave a comment

It seems he’s just a player-with-a-bride and forgot that you two broke up for a reason. I don’t understand why are these people getting married. Just to ruin the life of someone else?

Comment by Monica

It happens. I just opened up a van of worms that I shouldn’t have, knowing it’s not for me. So sad. Gotta nip that in the bud.Good job on giving him the no sir

Comment by Alisha

Good for you! Sometimes people, (men and women alike) just need to know that they can “still get it”. SMH

Comment by Amethyst

i feel you. been there, done that. i’m so thankful to have experience on my side when it comes to avoiding potential pitfalls that will ultimately cause you to have to learn the same doggone lesson all over again! No SIRrrr! don’t have time for it.

is the artwork yours? i’m feelin it. i too am an artist. i’m still working on my site and will let you know when we launch. look forward to meeting you one day. julu

Comment by julu

Hey – the artwork is by Juicy Art. Google them and lots come up – the make great posters also. 🙂

Comment by blackgirlinthecity

Wow, BGITC, i am glad to see you are made of much stronger stuff. Very good. You would have only been hurt and thrown yourself (and your loyal readers) back 12 months of therapy. lol. Its good to see the maturity in you.

Comment by BabyBear

I think this is where you count your blessings for not messing with this guy! Clearly had you gotten caught up in his trance that would have been you with the guy with the wondering eye. I believe everything happens for a reason and you managed to dodge a bullet while saving yourself grief and heartache. Be thankful.

Comment by Mistery

Some ppl never change. I’m glad your foresight was 20/20 on this one because he probably, scratch that, DEFINATELY wasn’t worth your time or karma.

Comment by mindblower

I admire your strength.

Comment by YoungBlackBeauty

It amazes me how people will try and try regardless of how many times NO has entered the picture -that was a good look darling -and is good for your karma not to deal w/ that mess !

Comment by Miss Underst00d

it’s such a good feeling when you grow to or arrive at that place where you’re able to discern what is and isn’t good for you.

Comment by fly tie

Amen!! Love it. They need to learn. Grass ain’t always greener.

Comment by Kacy

Nice Post.. I periodically circle back to check you out and have decided that I…. LIKE the way you think, communicate and carry yourself. You can add yourself to my list of REAL SHEROES!

Comment by ConservativeElegance

That is crazy. Very well written however. It’s always those dudes from the past that stir up madness. Always.

Comment by Sarah Noelle

you are right both men and WOMEN want to know that they still got it.
I swear I go home (to MISS.) just to fcuk with old boyfriends !

On another note with men all you have to say is “What exactly do you have in mind?” and they will exit the scene right away. I mean c’mon who in the hell in this day and age wants to engage in CASUAL sex. I want to know everything…I dont need no damn surprises

I love me some me …guys dont really like women that like themselves. I am thouroughly convinced. Most guys want a “pet” someone that will love them unconditionally, someone they can do any thing to, albeit sexually or emotionally.

Comment by GRACEY

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