Filed under: Chapter Next
Music: We Fight, We Love (Remix) // Q-Tip
I’ve got a date happening soon and I’m not quite sure what to wear. Say what? Black Girl is actually preparing in advance to see a cat? Absolutely. He’s cute and I’m interested. Besides, I am always willing to give a brown newbie a chance despite my love/hate relationship with the male species.
The thing I like about this guy is his approach. Casual, clean and respectful. He took on the male role, pursued and showed me that he was interested in seeing more about me. Oh, and yes he did ask to hang OUT vs. throwing up an offer for a trip to his crib as a first-time connect – under the pretense of wine and weed, lol. It’s funny because we’ve lived in the same area for years. At the time I was without a whip; commuting back and forth to work every day for a full year until I had enough cash for a decent car. During those commutes I’d always see this same chill, chocolate brown brother on the 8:00am bus every morning. The thing I noticed first was that he was ok with being a regular dude, no rings or bling needed. He had an inner confidence as though there were mounds of wisdom within the confinements of his mind, but these things lay dormant until revelation was an absolute necessity. Only after watching him for a while was I able to pick up on this though. But when I did see it, my interest was somewhat peaked.
Each day we’d follow the droned out commuter crowds, funneling like school fish down into the tunnels and dispersing to the trains for another day’s dollar. He would take the Southbound as I, but rarely did I get on the same car. From there he always disappeared and I was never pressed because I knew I’d most likely see him again.
Over a year’s time I never approached him because I didn’t feel that it was the right time. The most I ever said to him was, “Hello,” before burying my head back into the magazine or book that I tried to make seem more interesting than he. Eventually I got a car and it was no more busing or training it. I thought about brown brown and the fact that I may not see him again. Kinda kicked myself for not being on my carpe diem shit but it is what it is, right? Little did I know that I’d pass him several times while driving to work. He was always either waiting at the same bus stop or walking up the road or into the same community nearby. Even then something inside me wanted to stop and offer a friendly ride but shhhhhheeeeeiii, I didn’t know this cat from Adam?! And who’s to say that he wouldn’t have been like ,”Yo WTF Y0?” in response to misinterpreted eagerness as if I picked up dudes for a living, lol.
So I’d see him (or should I say pass him by) a few more times after and then he vanished. A year and half later I’m attending a party with friends. I walk in, take a few steps, greet a few folks…and there HE is. Despite the inner fear of him thinking I was some sort of stalker, I immediately went and introduced myself telling him I used to see him all of the time. Oddly enough he remembered exactly who I was and we both laughed at the irony while exchanging contact info. Finally parallel paths cross and I so happened to be wearing sexy heels that night.
And now it’s our first time hanging out and I’m not certain on what style to choose. My own, regular me is jeans and a white t-shirt, lol, but I probably want to have my ante up for this one. Who knows, he could be another jerk or he could be a brand new lover – but what’s most important is that I’m open to whatever’s new and cool for my life and if it’s meant to fly, we’ll fly.
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