Black Girl In The City.

November 3, 2009, 1:16 pm
Filed under: Chapter Next, Legitimate Gripes


Music:  Girlicious // Liar, Liar

Time and time again, I am reminded why I should let certain people go whom I’ve thought to call ‘friend’. Then again, I am almost convinced that this may be one of my life-long karmic lessons, that you can’t call everyone friend regardless of how long the two of you have known each other. At least you can expect your enemies to tell you the truth when asked!

And ninjas lie like second nature even when they don’t have a reason to. To be honest, I thought he and I were past that…but how can you expect me to receive you differently when you keep bringing the same ish to the table? Like, really?

A brief time line:

I offer to take him out for his birthday.

He says, “Awe, Mom has a surprise party planned that I’m not supposed to know is a surprise.”

“Cool,” I say thinking that the offer was more so a cordial gesture to a friend of 16 plus years, and I really wanted to see “Paranormal Activity” anyway.

Low and behold the liar is spotted on a date…at the same movie, lolol.

Wow, really?

I could have cared less about the date, were are just friends…so why not say, “Oh, already got plans.” Gratuitous lies are insane to me!

That shyt is really baffling but suppose I can’t get mad when things are revealed as I’ve asked. But still, WHY? LIE? when you have no reason to? I realize that I have a bad habit of holding on to things or people for the sake of holding on to time and wanting to forgive, but taking people at face value is probably what I should be doing more of. So…it’s probably time to grow up and hand certain individuals the pink slip since its evident that they can’t be trusted. But really though, WTF? Someone please help me understand why men lie for no reason whatsoever. And before you go there, yes, women lie too…numbers don’t and all of that. But the topic here is men. Why do you lie? Is it fear? Insecurities? Certainly you can’t be overly concerned with the other person’s feelings because if that’s the case you wouldn’t do it to begin with. To be honest I find it offensive, disrespectful…like as women we are too weak to handle an insignificant truth. And if that is part of the reason let me be the first to tell you, “BULLSHYT.”

-black girl.


8 Comments so far
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ok…im going through the same thing…with a man that is no longer my boyfriend as of Nov…his pink slip has been handed which should have been done months ago…….i think part of the reason we hold on is because were comfortable with the person…even with the bullsh– they kick….its sad but thats why women forgive these liars..aka…alot of men…

Comment by lee

I really believe that men lie because they are afraid to hurt a womans feelings.. especially if its a friend. Even though you guys are just friends he may have lied to you because he didnt want you to think he was passing a outing over with you to go on a date. He’s not right for lying to you but that may be the reason why. But I think you should bring it up to him && let him know that it wouldve been okay for him to just tell you the truth. But PINK SLiiPS may not be in order just

Comment by lovelo

I think men lie, most of the time, because they are cowards. They don’t want to hear the truth or deal with the repercussion of their actions. So they lie to try to avoid it but they end up getting caught and lie again. It’s a vicious cycle

Comment by Aleishia

I concur with all of you! I gave him an opportunity to explain but I’m still not buying it. And he claims that he got sick that night from something he ate so am I evil for thinking that it serves him right? lol. I’ll continue as I have before…dealing with him at arm’s length. ugh.

Comment by blackgirlinthecity

They lie to hold on. They want to do what they want but at the same time keep you around. It has nothing to do with hurting your feelings per say but everything to do with having their cake and eat it to. He wanted to date someone else (possibly new) but still keep you around. This is not just for himself but for you as well. This will keep you wanting him in the meantime. There are hints in there you should have taken…like if he know a party is coming up for him and he feeling you like that, he should have gave you the invite when he knew all was clear. It was a surpise party but if you kickin it with someone you really like and want on your arm, you give them the request of coming after he found out it’s a party. If guys do things that you really don’t have much of a part in (even if you are JUST DATING). More than likely something else or someone else has his interest…

Comment by Kacy


Comment by julu

Even though you feel that the truth would have sufficed, he obviously felt differently. Didn’t want the preceived drama.

Comment by Diamon

men don’t do that crap unless they’re interested in you–even on the low-low. Think about it. there’s no need to lie to a homegirl. but someone you’d ‘do’ – you’d go out of your way to make sure they didn’t know you had an immediate prospect! he was trying to keep a crack in the ‘friendship door’ so he could enter it on a lonely night when you crying on his shoulder..LOL i also agree with what diamon said. men sometimes automatically assume we’re gonna be upset over what’s really nothing, so they lie!

Comment by julu

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