Black Girl In The City.

ask black girl.


‘Black Girl In The City’ [ B.G.I.T.C.] may, from time to time, include posts in response to readers seeking advice on various topics and/or subject matters.  Any statements published by B.G.I.T.C. are done so for entertainment purposes only, and are not intended, and should not be taken as specific advice in any particular circumstance.  Statements made do not constitute professional counseling of any kind.   Individuals seeking professional advice applicable to their personal situation are urged to consult with a qualified, liscensed counselor with respect to such issues.   By sending your letters and questions to ** you acknowledge that you have read and understand all of the above.



5 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Hey Black girl!! Check you out just about everyday, and I must tell you I LOVE it. I’m a 22yr old (black) professional. Been working in corporate America for about 3.5 years now (HATE it), I try to do everything right – well as right as I can see fit. I never fit in with the rest b/c I didn’t want to. I have a few people that I call friend, but I’ve never had a relationship. I actually went to a psychologist quite recently to see if maybe he can help me out with gaining some clarity in my life (past confused and lost)…my question to you is pretty easy…I’ll be turning 23 in 2 weeks and I have absolutley no idea what to do. I have a lot to be thankful for, my health, no kids, great job, family – I’m doing pretty well for someone my age, but I still feel empty. I’m ‘dating’ someone whom I see a lot in potential in, but like always I feel myself getting ready to run away from him. Thats something I do; run from anything that looks or feels like a relationship, but I long for one all in the same minute. Do I wait and see if he will plan something out, do I try to make plans with the little bit of friends I have or do I do my usual, get drunk, go dancing and then back to my empty home?? I’ve been ‘friends’ with a lot of people, but no one has made me want to commit or even made me feel as though I really mattered, but he has in the short time we’ve seen each other. Black girl I’m terrified of relationships….I think its bc I have a control issue, I need to be in control of my ish – not to mention I don’t know how to express my emotions and in relationships it involves someone else’s feeling. I usually just disappear and never speak to that person ever again, for the tinest of reasons bc I’d rather not go through it – but this one is different. Black girl, how do I allow myself to enjoy this?? I’m so tired of being alone and lonely….

Befuddled lil sis

Comment by Befuddled lil sis

*Looking up…I totally relate..though i’m not dating anyone at the moment…i have major trust issues with men in general…just because of some of the horror stories i see/hear every minute!…and what DOESN’t help…is…sitting and speaking with an older woman who’s been there done that!…they scare me because their consensus’ are all the same…men cheat!…thats a hard pill for me to swallow since my daddy has always been the apple of my eye…him and my mom are married for 33 years strong and he NEVVVEERR (as far as i know…) brought that drama around! EVER!…just don’t know what the future’ll bring for me as far as a happy marriage with a man who’s cut from the same cloth i am…sorry if i rambled…i just really felt lil sis on that~

Comment by I totally relate B'lil sis


I have a control issue too that may have contributed to some of my past unhappiness. It didn’t allow me to be a team player because what’s mine is mine and no I don’t want to “try this”…lol

TRUST was my biggest issue after the fact. That caused not to allow myself to attach and to even bail when he showed any other type of emotion, other than laughter and being horny….When it became emotional I saketed.

NOW I ran into someone I dated who has developed to almost the perfect man. I want him so bad it hurts and I even forgot about how cold I was and how I didn’t want another relationship. I feel so strongly about being with him and guess what, he’s making it very hard. I had control of my feelings up until now. It caught me off guard, I even sat my somewhat selfishness aside and everything. To me he’s the one.

With that with some love comes pain, girl. It’s just the way it is. The guy I gave 6 years to wanted to control it all also. Now he’s single and lonely and miserable. So, you have to let your guard down sometimes or more is gonna pass you by than you’d like.

If he seems like he has you best interest at heart, try it. You’re young and successful, a man can’t take your shine if you don’t let him. Even when you’re hurting you let him think all is well. You have to experience though if you don’t you’ll be hurt more than not because you may not be able to tell the difference (the difference in men).

Comment by Simplicity

Hey B.G.I.T.C I want to first say that I love your blog. But I want to up my style and go from a tshirt and jeans girls to something more..I’m not trying to completely ditch the tees but I basically want to start all over, do you have online sites where I could find some inexpensive style ideas?

Comment by Toya

Hey BGITC. I am new to the site. And i love your blog. its really interesting. i am in coroprate america as well and im very fashion forward so i can relate a ton. However i am a lesbian and i just recently broke up with my gf of a year and i am taking it very hard. I been forgave after all the cheating and lies then she ends up leaving me for a mutual friend that she grw up with. What is the best way to get over this. i changed all my numbers but a part of me wants her to contact me and she does still ahve my email and work number. Did i do the right thing? I loved her and she was the only one i had and i gave my all. and now that i look back she did me so dirty the whole year. I did leave a vm sunday mornging w/o leaving my number letting her know how hard im taking this. we broke up Jan 7th and i havent spoke to her since. what should i do now?

Comment by Laurie

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s