Black Girl In The City.


Break Me Down, Build Me Up.
November 27, 2009, 4:04 pm
Filed under: Reflections of a Black Girl

//Rise & Shine// Cee-Lo & Seed

The past few days have been pretty good. I was sick all last week, germs are on the bounty like crazy. To the extent that I was out-for-the-count sick. The kinda sick where you can’t do anything but lay there and listen to God whispering in your ear, quietly reminding you of your responsibility to man kind and those whom he has entrusted to be present in your life. All while zoned out in a medicine induced coma. What really sucked is that I had premium seats for the Hawks/Miami Game at Phillips that totally went to waste. I did shed a tear for real! The reality that landed me there hit hard and I took heed to the warning: working, stressing, not balancing the scales as much as I should be. We’re all guilty of that at some point in life, I suppose. Nevertheless, my center was waaaay off and sister-girl was in need of an intervention!

I go through this at least once a year, you know – the hole break me down and build me back up stronger thing. But this time around it was a little different, as each of these instances are since there is a different lesson to learn each time. I was so busy focusing on the instruction that I had been neglecting to stop and check in with the Head instructor. Let’s discontinue if you think I’m going in that direction. The one where I flip to some seriously religious plane while thumping a Bible thicker than my head. Nah, not the point and that’s not really my style. I just think that as individual partakers in humanity we all have a spiritual element present and alive in our lives. Good, evil, dormant, active…whatever. Things only become real when you acknowledge them and harness their power to work for and through you.

When I got back to work and back in the game, the first thing I told my boss was, “lesson learned.” “There’s really nothing you could of done about it,” she said. Then goes on to explain how people are just running around ramped and coughing everywhere. I laughed at the story, she had a point and I took it as it was. In the end I’m not certain she understood what I meant by “lesson learned”, though. Sure we could all use a little more sanitizer and coughing into the arm vs. sprinkling infected droplets into the atmosphere, but my real lesson said that the lessor we commune with the spiritual, the more we dance down the opposite end of the spectrum. May not even necessarily be toward the intent of evil but, more so just a steady drift farther away from the 360 degree person we all want to be. And then you get physically sick.

All of that to say that I’ve been spending a lot of time on myself since then, centering and setting the plan back in motion. A lot of good things are happening, I’m just keeping myself on a steady and wise pace. In the meantime I guess I’ve just got to remember that in the midst of all of this stuff in my now, strategy and balance trump lightening rocket speed.

-black girl.


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Be your own best friend…

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