Black Girl In The City.

{photographer unknown}

Hello world,

I’m still here. Alive. Well. Exhausted! I’m sure you’ve been wondering what the hell but honestly this week has been one of those weeks. The kind that just won’t let up and the energy you have left at the end of each day is just enough to remember to brush your teeth and tie up your hair. I’m just trying to stay focused and on task as much as I possibly can. The big picture says it will all pay off.

I’ve grown to live with the onset of demanding days because I know that they are only tests to keep me on my toes. Those of you that read regularly have a good understanding of my weirded out life and know that I’m prone to take a break here and there. Thanks to all those checking for me. Everything is ok. 🙂

So I’m the chick that gets bored easily. If I get bored I get comfortable, and if I get comfortable I’m usually half-in half-out. Never wholly committed to whatever it is I’m doing, whatever the ‘grind’ so to speak. Seems as though the Gods sense the onslaught of apathy and blow in tidal waves of challenges and uncomfortable situations – forcing me to think differently, switch up my approach, drop a habit to gain two more, and 1-2-3 breathe before knocking an innocent by-standard’s head off lol. Sure I emerge with a lesson or two but the reward doesn’t come without tears, blood and a sprinkle of sweat on my wee little brow. All to say that the past seven days were necessary and I made it without a scratch or scathe. All for the sake of the grind.

I did a lot of readjusting this week. Embracing the patience I needed to emody more often was the key accomplishment. You name the hat, I wore it. I was up at 6am every single morning and didn’t lay down to rest until late each evening – usually a little past midnight. What was I doing? You name it. From balancing the workload of a fluctuating team to making sure I’m at the elementary school at 6:45am to take a germ sample from the girls bathroom floor for a mini scientist’s project. From running the household budget to catering to the business needs of clients, little time was left for me this week. Duty called but instead of bitchin’ and stompin’, I moved with it even if it meant taking a break from blogger’sville.

And even now at 10:57 pm on a Friday night I am sitting at my desk grinding this message to you and mapping out my Saturday all the same. The perfect celebratory affair would have been at the W with the Gucci crew (cue ghetto snap) tonight. Original plans foiled when we got wind of the weather. Bailed. Which sucks because I’d planned to hook up with Doc at Sugar Hill and possibly hit MJQ. But when I heard the energy in his voice I knew that my own was nowhere near his match. I’d be rendered helpless in record time given the week that just laid me out. Shyt I’d probably be in MJQ posted up sleep somewhere fooling with that guy! My people party hard. Besides, staying in doors to catch up on my writing is a must right about now and i have got to stay committed to this.

This blog isn’t going anywhere significant so I’ll be on my merry way. I can’t leave you empty handed so here are a few basic principals to help you stay true and pay homage to your own grind, whatever that may be:

1. What are you grinding for? Make sure your grind has a cause and purpose. Don’t just tread the mill without knowing exactly why you’re doing it and what your desired outcome should be. Grinds never stay the same so it’s always important to re-evaluate and adjust your game.

2. Ask yourself “Why”. Sometimes its easy to get caught up in the day-to-day. Most of us get on auto pilot but it’s important to stop and ask “why” every now and then. “Why am I doing this?” Taking a moment to ask your W’s will help eliminate pointless tasks and time wasters. If you don’t have a good reason to be doing it, why are you?

3. What’s your strategy? Do you have a basic plan to help you achieve your goals? How will you ensure that what you’ve promised will be delivered? Set aside strategy and planning time so you’re not traveling without the map.

4. A wise CEO of a Global Advertising agency once said, “You have to know when to tell someone to fuck off and mean it. “ (Peter Krivkovich) – This is essential for a woman on her grind. Since women are automatically considered to be a weaker counterpart and less ‘connected’ or ‘knowledgeable’ than their male peers, we’re often tried in the worst way. You have to know when to be a bitch with a smile and stand your ground. Doing it when it’s warranted and totally necessary feels so good.

5. Sleep. Eat. Drink. Stay Active. Take care of your body by eating properly and drinking water. Listen to your body’s cues and get adequate rest. If you’re too busy to work out, incorporate physical activity in your everyday. I usually park on the bottom floor of a parking deck and take the stairs up to my destination. Five to six flights of steps is a good way to feel a quick burn and boost your energy. The grind can’t be more important than your health.

6. Stay Relevant. It’s important to know the climate and culture you’re grinding in. Keep yourself educated and in the know. Maintain relationships that keep you on the pulse of your craft so that you can look, perform and be your absolute best.

7. Leave emotions out of it and always practice patience. Make decisions based on the facts and gut instinct. If you’re cranky on Tuesday and depressed on Wednesday its nobody’s business, especially when you’re in grind mode. If you have to walk away and take a break, do it. It’s better than exposing your weak spots. Patience is a must (especially for me) because taking a pause has saved me plenty of times. Granted there are times where you have to move quickly, but what about the times where a quick pause for the cause has made all the difference? When in doubt, freeze then defrost.

8. Stay organized. Planners, notebooks, journals, calendars, whatever. There are a lot of electronic tools out there to help you with this. Even carrying a simple notebook to jot notes, etc. will help you stay focused and on top of things.

9. Fluidity is a must. I’ve mentioned this before but you’ve got to know when to move with the flow, adjust and adapt. Charles Darwin has a quote to live by: “It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.” Keep this in mind and you’ll continue to rise and succeed.

10. Don’t be lazy. Simply put, Now is not the effing time.

As the conditions change, change with them and stay committed. Heck, you could very well end up changing the world. Regardless of how difficult it may be, never forget to pay homage to your grind. It’s the only one you’ve got. Keep going. November 4th, early!

-black girl.