Black Girl In The City.

Kevin Millet

Music: Rising Up // The Roots

Happy New Year to ya! Hopefully your evening and day were spent exactly as you saw fit. As for myself, I partied with some friends at the Ritz and brought in the year surrounded by all of the very people that I will continue to remain connected to in the new decade. Aside from the partying, I also launched a new business and spent most of my new year’s day tarrying over things to do, people to get on the phone with and ish like that. But in the midst of my busy state I thought about you and this blog and wanted to share some words for your 2010.

You know I’m a list girl, lol. And in the midst of my planning and to do’s I began thinking about all of the lessons I’d learned this year. There are so many, but for the sake of brevity I’ll give you my absolute top five. Hopefully you can take something away for yourself as well.

…in no particular order

1. Master the art of doing more with less. I lost a lot this year, only to gain more and greater in the end. This lesson was necessary for me because during those times of loss and shortage I found myself devising new and creative ways to do more with the what I had. And ironically I came up with ways to obtain and build more with what I had, which is crazy to me, lol. Learning to live and enjoy life on the bare minimal is a character builder. A skill builder too, but when you mentally master of the art of doing more with less, you’ll have the skill and know how to manage and keep the excess that is destined to come your way. It’s all apart of the process.

2. Understand the value in every relationship. I’ve always been guilty of hanging on to people or connecting with folks that may not necessarily have my well being as a priority in their minds. This year I really learned to understand the value in every relationship and connection in my life. Value would be defined as anything “good” that happens as a result of the connection, even if you are not the direct recipient. When I began to look at the people around me in this light, I shed a lot of dead weight and ended my 2009 with a close group of valuable relationships that I will continue to build and grow in the years ahead. Contrarily speaking, if you cannot see the value in the connection whatsoever, let. it. go.

3. When in doubt, build, build, and build some more. I can’t tell you how many times I second-guessed and questioned my path throughout the year. I was on something new and treading unfamiliar territory, so I was unsure of what to except along the way. And I admit I was a little scramble headed trying to figure I all out! Lol. But the one thing that I continued to do was build even when I didn’t know much else at the time. I’m not saying build something on shaky ground, I’m saying that when you are in doubt, build on what you know because chances are you know it for a reason! Build and don’t stop, the rest will take shape. I am a living witness to that.

4. Don’t think big, think broad. I’d like to think of big as anything larger than what it is compared to. Usually taller, maybe wider, right? We really can’t pinpoint it we just know its bigger than something else. But, just because something is big doesn’t mean that we can see it in its entirety. What we’re thinking about may be too far over our heads to wholly understand, or there may be something on the other side of that big that we may not necessarily want to fool with. But when I think of something broad, I think of it as being long range, wide, but at eye level so that you can see a lot more with the basic turn of your head. Can’t see that far in the distance? Get some glasses, some knowledge. It just seems smarter to think broad in order to be big. Thinking big is a little less specific, but thinking broad gives us a long-range front, rear and side-to-side view of our lives. It also takes a lot more skill and strategy than thinking big, which is easy. I’ll definitely be focusing on the broader picture in 2010.

5. Love. I know its something so simple but I learned a lot about love this year. Not the boo’d up R-Kelly kinda love, but the love that you share with your family and friends and carries a ,”No matter what, now matter how” disclaimer. As in no matter what happens, no matter what you do, that real kind of love will be there when you need it most. If you don’t have access to that kind of love and you are not able to offer it yourself, work on that ASAP. Get past your issues, amend the mistakes and have your sorries because in the end its that real kind of the love that will get you through the most challenging times

-black girl.